CALL US AT: (877) 838.BABY

Dancing for the Family is on My Prescription List

By David Kreiner MD

July 22nd, 2014 at 8:27 am

 

Dr. Kreiner and dance partner


 

For two years I have been taking ballroom dancing lessons, learning such dances as the cha cha, rumba, swing, and more.  As a typical male who grew up playing baseball, football, and basketball, the idea of coordinated movement synchronized to music was as much an anathema to me as voluntarily going for more schooling decades after I had already completed my studies to establish my career.  Yet, I have enjoyed both ventures.

 

As a physician trained to observe others, I am amazed at the life-changing impact dance has had on so many of my fellow students.  On one level I see them making meaningful friendships with people they may never have otherwise met.  In addition, through dance they perform aerobic exercise that helps to burn calories, train their cardiovascular system, and prevent the arthritic effects of stagnation of joints and muscles.  Furthermore, they are releasing endorphins that are mood-elevating and their performances, competitions, and shows help boost their self-confidence and egos.

Dr. and Mrs. Kreiner at dance show

 

From my Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) perspective they are generating and improving the flow of Qi in their bodies benefitting not only the skeletal muscular system but their constitutional health.  In a word, dance brings joy to both the dancer and those fortunate to observe the dance.

 

As a reproductive endocrinologist involved with infertile patients on a daily basis, I see the stresses and frustrations that infertility brings to its sufferers.  I see dance as a panacea to diminish the stress which both Western and TCM blame as a protagonist in the battle to conceive.

 

Yes, dance is on my prescription list of therapies for my infertile patients. 

 

If you please, for your own benefit as well as that of the infertile community on Long Island, join us at our come to our “Dance for the Family” benefit on August 23, 2014 at Dance With Me Long Island in Glen Head, New York, home of Dancing with the Stars™ champions.  Perhaps, it is your own family you will be dancing for. For further details on this night of professional dance lessons, drinks, hors d’oeuvres, desserts, a silent auction and a chance to win a door prize of a free IVF cycle donated by Long Island IVF and/or to purchase tickets ($65 or $100 VIP) click:  http://bit.ly/1p8hDZ9 .

 

no comments

Long Island IVF Designated an Aetna Institute of Excellence™ Infertility Clinic

By Tracey Minella

July 17th, 2014 at 3:17 pm

Long Island IVF is proud to announce it has been recognized as an Aetna Institute of Excellence™ Infertility Clinic for Assisted Reproductive Technology services.

Aetna makes information about the quality and cost of health care services available to its members to help them make informed decisions about their health care needs. In line with this goal, Aetna recognizes hospitals and facilities in its network that offer specialized clinical services for certain health conditions. Facilities are selected for their unique expertise in consistently delivering evidence-based, safe care.

Long Island IVF has been selected as one such specialized, unique, and safe facility.

“From the day LIIVF first opened its doors 26 years ago, we’ve been committed to providing the safest, most advanced medical care to the infertility community on Long Island”, said Dr. Daniel Kenigsberg, Reproductive Endocrinologist and co-founding partner of Long Island IVF. “So to be recognized by Aetna as an ‘Institute of Excellence’ is not only an honor, but a validation of that commitment.”

Dr. David Kreiner, Reproductive Endocrinologist and co-founding partner of Long Island IVF, agrees. “Infertility is very stressful and the pressure on infertile couples to choose the right fertility practice can be overwhelming,” adds Dr. Kreiner. “The ‘Institute of Excellence’ distinction helps direct infertile patients to the doctors who have been recognized as leaders in the field of infertility and assisted reproductive technology.”

While recommendations from successful patients have always been a great source of new patient referrals, many couples who are trying to conceive may not know someone who has used assisted reproductive technology to get pregnant, or they may not be ready to openly admit that they’re suffering from infertility. So, the Aetna Institute of Excellence™ Infertility Clinic designation is a great resource to direct patients to quality care.

* * * * * * * * * * * ** * * * **

What factors do/did you consider important when choosing a reproductive endocrinologist?

 

no comments

Confessions of an IVF Mom: I’m Jealous of Your Infertility

By Tracey Minella

July 16th, 2014 at 6:14 pm

 

image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net


I am an IVF mom. When I was a younger infertile woman, I was jealous of pregnant women and mothers. They were in my face, everywhere I turned (or at least it felt that way). I didn’t begrudge them what they had. I just wanted a baby, too. More than air. Just like you do now.

Today, it’s worse. You still encounter the usual public displays of parenthood like people breastfeeding, playing in the park, or crowds at the school bus stop. But now there is the assault from social media, too. You can’t even hide in your own home. Newsfeeds stream with pregnancy sonogram photos, gender-revealing parties, birth announcements, and daily kiddie updates on Facebook ad nauseam.

Infertile people are sick of waiting for their turn. Sick of having to endure treatments. Sick of having their happiness and their lives put on hold. Infertile people are tired of being poked and prodded, of getting their hopes up and getting let down, of setbacks outnumbering wins, of months turning into years.

How could I be jealous of your infertility, you wonder? Surely I couldn’t possibly remember how it felt to have to hope every month that this would finally be the month I’d find out I was pregnant?

Ah, yes. That’s exactly what I remember. And that is where the twinge of jealousy lies… in the hope each month of conceiving. A hope that is long gone from my life, but that still exists in yours.

I spent many years in your agony, hoping. Hoping each month to become pregnant, to have a baby, to be a class mom. Hoping for a sonogram photo that measured a baby instead of an empty uterine lining. Hoping for a chance to scan a baby registry and set up the nursery I dared to dream of.

I imagined taxiing kids to activities all afternoon, running the PTA, hosting sleepovers, being a scout leader, a team coach, sending out those cute photo holiday cards. I dreamed that Disney would actually become the happiest place on Earth.

Years of that hope and sacrifice eventually turned into two dreams come true. And I am thankful for every single minute of what has surprisingly gone by far too fast. I wouldn’t change a thing except slow it down if I could.

An incident yesterday ignited this jealousy I now have of you.  I dropped my firstborn IVF miracle off at a two-week college residential program in NYC and a part of my heart broke on the spot. She will be home in two weeks and I vow to savor every minute of the next two years before she graduates high school and moves on. But where did the time go? I remember the day she was transferred. I remember all the details of getting my IVF pregnancy test results like it was yesterday.

I started to think back on what I went through to have her…on what you are possibly going through now. The injections and ultrasounds. The auto-pilot nature of the experience. The significance of a pregnancy test. The feeling of hope about creating a baby and all the promise of raising that new life. All the awesome, indescribable moments and years of joy, love, and absolute wonder ahead of those still on the journey.

And I kind of miss it. Part of me wants to go back to the beginning and live it all again. To go back to when all I had was that hope. Right before the dream came true. I don’t expect you to understand this now, but you may someday.

So, be thankful for the hope that burns in your heart that this… yes, this… could be the month you conceive your baby and the life you’ve dreamed of begins. Believe it or not, that’s an enviable place to be.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

For those on their journey: Did you ever think someone would envy your position? What is the most frustrating part of the waiting?

For those who are parents after infertility: Do you ever feel like this or think you may in the future?

 

Photo credit: freedigital photos.net

 

no comments

Infertility and TCM: Part 10: The Examination

By David Kreiner MD

July 11th, 2014 at 2:07 pm

 

image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net


An acupuncturist selects particular points along the various Qi meridians on the body depending on the patients’ complaints and their diagnoses as determined by the following four key aspects of the acupuncturist’s examination; inquiry, inspection, palpation and listening/smelling.

The acupuncturist takes a history which is not just limited to the chief complaint but focuses on diet, bowel habits, lifestyle, etc.  He/she will observe the patient during the visit paying particular attention to body habitus (physique), gait, complexion, hair, and much more.  The acupuncturist inspects the tongue for size, color, moisture, coating as well as any additional features such as spots, tooth marks and cracks.  Using varying degrees of pressure, he/she will palpate a patient’s radial pulse with three fingers pressuring superficially, deep to the bone and in between.  He/she will palpate the abdomen as well as the Qi meridians searching for tenderness. Finally, he/she will gather information by listening and smelling as diagnostic patterns vary depending on the characteristics of all of the above.

Treatment will depend on a particular pattern or patterns of disharmony that are identified. In addition to acupuncture, treatment could include moxibustion, cupping, tui na manipulation or massage and/or herbal therapies.  An acupuncturist assesses the root cause of the patient’s problem and will usually treat both the cause and the symptom complaints as it is believed that without correcting the root cause of a problem, symptoms will recur even if initially relieved.

I will review the significance of the findings from the examination and the different disharmony patterns that can be identified by virtue of this examination in future posts.

* * * * * * **  * * * * * * * * ** * * **

Does the TCM examination seem more thorough than a typical Western medicine examination?

 

 

 

no comments

Long Island IVF’s Fertility Grants Guide

By Tracey Minella

July 9th, 2014 at 9:00 am

credit: StuartMiles

 

Financing…or lack thereof…is the number one obstacle to family-building for the majority of those suffering from infertility. Most insurance companies cover little (if any) of the costs of infertility treatment, especially advanced assisted reproductive technologies like in vitro fertilization (IVF). Even the medications for such treatment can be expensive.

Long Island IVF makes infertility treatments more affordable for patients through maximizing insurance benefit coverage as well as by offering specialized programs, such as our IVF Grant Program, Single Embryo Transfer Program, IVF Financial Share Program or Fertility Preservation Programs. For more information on these programs, see: http://www.longislandivf.com/payment_options.cfm  We also provide each patient with a personal financial counselor to help navigate the available options.

In addition to all the internal financial grant and related assistance offerings, we’d like to share other external grant funding sources which may be available to patients to assist with their infertility treatments. These organizations include:

The Cade Foundation & Long Island IVF

Long Island IVF actively supports the Tinina Q. Cade Foundation as our practice’s philanthropy. Next month, Long Island IVF will host a unique fund-raising event for the Cade Foundation on August 23rd at the Dance With Me Studio in Glen Head, Long Island, home of the Chmerkowsky Brothers and Tony Dovolani from Dancing With the Stars.

The Dancing for the Family event costs only $65 per ticket for a night of dance lessons, dancing, hors d’oeuvres, drinks, desserts, a silent auction and a chance to win a fabulous door prize: A Free IVF cycle donated by Long Island IVF!

Tickets are limited and can be purchased here: http://www.eventbrite.com/e/long-island-dancing-for-the-family-hosted-by-long-island-ivf-tickets-10690187639 The Free IVF cycle is transferrable once (subject to certain restrictions) so here’s a real chance for your fertile friends and family…who wish they could help you… to come out for a fun night and maybe they’ll win the prize for you!

The Cade Foundation is a non-profit organization whose mission is to promote awareness of infertility and serve the needs of couples struggling with infertility by providing educational resources and financial assistance for helping them grow their families. Each year, the Cade Foundation provides grants of up to $10,000 to infertile families to assist them with the cost of infertility treatment or domestic adoption.

Eligibility: In order to be eligible, applicants must have documented infertility, be legal, permanent residents of the United States, and submit the grant application (processing fees apply).

Application Process: The application must also include a detailed plan on how the applicants will contribute financially to their fertility treatments. Grant awards are made once per year.

For more information and to obtain an application, go to: www.cadefoundation.org

 

The NY State Infertility Demonstration Grant & Long Island IVF

Based on meeting high standards of IVF success rates, Long Island IVF is among the select programs chosen to participate in the infertility grant funded by New York State. The amount of treatment funding is based on the patient’s or couple’s combined household income; coverage can range from 2.5% up to 97.5% of IVF treatment costs.

Eligibility: In order to be eligible, applicants must be between the ages of 21 and 44 years, have documented infertility and meet clinical criteria, be residents of New York State, have medical insurance coverage but either be uninsured for fertility or IVF treatments or have exhausted their benefits and have a combined household income of less than $195k annually.

Application Process: Qualified, interested patients may apply through their Long Island IVF Financial Counselor.  Although there is no required application form, applicants must submit proof of NY State residency and income. Grant awards are made during the award period based on availability of grant funding from the State.

For more information on the NY State Infertility Demonstration Program at Long Island IVF and to review the participation criteria, go to: www.longislandivf.com/doh_ivf_grant.cfm

 

Pay It Forward Fertility Foundation

The Pay It Forward Fertility Foundation selects applicants who are uninsured for fertility treatment. Candidates may use their awarded partial or full grant for: IVF, donor eggs or embryo adoption.  Applicants must be under the age of 40 to qualify, unless using donor eggs or embryo adoption.  Although surrogate expenses are not available for funding, the IVF treatment for the preparation of a surrogate pregnancy may be funded.  Funds are paid directly to the clinical program.

Eligibility: In order to be eligible, applicants must have documented infertility, be legal, permanent residents of the United States, have medical insurance coverage but be uninsured for fertility or IVF treatments, demonstrate financial need and submit a grant application (processing fees apply).

Application Process: The grant application requires in depth financial information and physician diagnosed infertility.  Grants are awarded several times each year coinciding with Board meetings.

For more information and to obtain an application, go to: www.payitforwardfertility.org

 

BabyQuest Foundation – IVF Grant

Baby Quest Foundation is a non-profit organization whose goal is to grant financial assistance to those who cannot afford infertility treatments. Funding can be used for a range of procedures including egg and sperm donation, egg freezing, artificial insemination, IVF, embryo adoption and surrogacy.  

Eligibility:  Applicants must reside in the United States. They must demonstrate financial need, submit required medical documentation and a description of their infertility history as well as the grant application (processing fees apply).

Application Process: Grants are given out two times yearly.

For more information and to obtain an application, go to: www.babyquestfoundation.org

 

Long Island IVF is committed to helping couples build their families and is providing this list for informational purposes only, as a courtesy to help those who may qualify for these programs. Long Island IVF makes no representations regarding the eligibility requirements or continued availability of any of these programs. This list is not exhaustive of all the potential grant and financial servicing options available and patients are encouraged to do their own research into these and other programs.

Wishing you a fast and successful journey to the crib.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  *  *

Was this information helpful? Are there any other resources you can add to this list?

 

Photo credit: Stuart Miles/freedigitalphotos.net

 

 

no comments

Infertility and TCM: Part 9: Tong Bing Yi Zhi.

By David Kreiner MD

June 29th, 2014 at 8:34 am

 

image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

According to Western Medicine, a particular disease is caused by a specific pathogen and the Western Medicine treatment is directed at that pathogenic factor. However, Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) recognizes that two people may react differently to that same pathogen.  They refer to this as Tong Bing Yi Zhi.  For example, in one individual the symptoms may appear as Damp heat syndrome and in another as Yin deficiency with false heat syndrome. In TCM, despite the common pathogen, patients would be treated differently depending on the syndrome identified. Syndrome identification is based on 4 diagnostic methods: inquiring, palpation, inspection and listening/smelling. This information is gathered and analyzed to identify the syndrome that a patient is experiencing.

 

On the other hand, two people with two different Western diagnoses such as menopause and hyperthyroidism may experience the same TCM syndrome from their respective pathologic conditions, Yin deficiency with false heat. This is also referred to as Tong Bing Yi Zhi.  In this case it refers to treating different diseases the same because they result in the same TCM syndrome.  In the first case TCM treats the same disease differently because as a result of the varying natures and constitutions of patients the symptoms resulting from the same pathologic condition often varies. To clarify, we do not need to know in TCM what diseases the patients have. We treat them according to TCM by their syndrome diagnosis.

Syndromes are differentiated based on several different factors. There are eight principles of paired opposing conditions including; Exterior and Interior, Cold and Heat, Deficiency and Excess, and Yin and Yang. These general principles are the basis for categorizing all the syndromes. The other syndromes are differentiated according one of the following  theories such as; Qi, blood and body fluids, the theory of the Zang-Fu organs, the theory of the six channels or meridians of Qi, the four levels of heat invasion, and the three burners or sections of the body.

It is through the four diagnostic methods above that the practitioner identifies the syndrome affecting the patient. He/she will choose the particular treatment specific for the syndrome modified by the age and health of the patient. This can include Tui-Na massage, acupuncture, moxibustion, cupping, and herbal medicine all directed at specific points in the body depending on the syndrome.

To me, as a Western physician trained to direct treatment for a particular pathogen or disease, I am very attracted to differentiating treatment based on its specific effect on the individual patient. We know that the same disease can have different resulting effects on people and that different diseases can affect some individuals in the same way. Therefore, the concept of directing therapy based on the effect the pathogenic factor has on the individual appears to me to be an effective way to treat a patient. If a physician were to combine the Western pathogen-directed therapy with TCM treatment based on the syndrome affecting the individual then the East-West combination therapy I believe should be most ideal.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ** * * * **

Does the Western pathogen-based treatment plan seem sufficient or does the idea of blending it with Eastern principles of syndrome-based treatment seem like it’d be a complementary bonus?

no comments

Long Island IVF “Dancing for the Family” Fundraiser with Free IVF Cycle Door Prize

By Tracey Minella

June 25th, 2014 at 5:48 pm


Remember date nights?

Infertility often wreaks havoc on a couple’s social life. Couples who were the life of the party before their diagnosis may start to withdraw from social situations for several reasons including depression, apathy, and financial restraint. If the journey is long, the couple can become virtual hermits.

Sound like you?

Well, we have a very special Saturday night planned with your name on it! Long Island IVF has partnered with the Tinina Q. Cade Foundation’s Dancing for the Family to bring you an event that is the first of its kind anywhere…and it’s coming this summer on August 23, 2014 at Dance with Me Studios Long Island, in Glen Head, N.Y.

Each attendee will have a chance to win a great door prize: A FREE IVF CYCLE donated by Long Island IVF*.

So whether you were party animals who loved to tear up the dance floor or just a couple of couch potatoes who watch Dancing With The Stars®, this event is for you. You will get to dance in the very studio where professional and DWTS dancers like Maksim and Val Chmerkovskiy and Tony Dovolani call home. You should be sashaying across the floor to order your tickets already, but if you need some persuading to fight that “hermit habit” just picture this…

The big night arrives. It’s date night. At least one of you is excited enough to have made these plans. You’ll get dressed up a bit, maybe for the first time in a while. Your eyes meet. The old spark ignites between you and any apprehension melts away. You’re on your way. The studio is abuzz with excitement. People are eating and enjoying the silent auction. You’ve got a drink in hand. Moods are relaxed, the music starts, and the professional dance instruction fun begins.

By the evening’s end, you’ve rediscovered each other or maybe met some new friends who share your challenge. Perhaps you even cut the rug with one of the LIIVF doctors. You’ve danced and laughed and possibly even won a silent auction prize. Or the free IVF cycle door prize. Someone will win it. And since attendance is limited, the odds are increased.

The coveted door prize is even transferable once*, so encourage your generous friends and family… who may not personally need the Free IVF cycle… to join you at this special event to help increase your odds of winning.

Go on, make it a party. Share this event with your friends and bring your own crowd!

You’ll leave feeling like a champion for being part of this ground-breaking event since all proceeds raised will enable the Tinina Q. Cade Foundation to offer education-based programming and Family-Building grants to help people overcome infertility.

Tickets are available at www.LIDanceForTheFamily.eventbrite.com. Admission tickets are only $65 (or $100 for V.I.P tickets). A portion of each ticket is tax deductible. See details on the eventbrite link. Don’t delay. Tickets are first-come, first-served. Click the link and reserve your spot today! Go on. Click. Now.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *** * * * * * * ** *** ** ***

Will you be coming to the event?

 

*See Long Island IVF website and eventbrite ticket purchase site for full details, rules, and restrictions.

 

Photo credit: http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/agree-terms.php?id=100248739

 

no comments

An Infertile Woman’s Advice to the New Grad

By Tracey A. Minella

June 21st, 2014 at 6:19 am

 

credit: david castillo dominici

How innocent you look there in your cap and gown, your broad smile gleaming in the sun. Another educational milestone met. Another diploma for the wall.

You’ve got grand plans for your bright future. Another advanced degree, or maybe your first big job, waits. Visions of the good life fill your mind. Having it all. The career with its promotions, the marriage with romantic vacations. The first house. And then…eventually… the baby. The one you’ve decided will arrive in May of some yet undetermined year. Right on schedule. Exactly as planned.

Today, your foot is poised on the ladder to success.

And as I see you, my mind screams “Put it in the stirrups!”

I was you, long ago. Innocent, with no reason to suspect my life’s lofty goals would not turn out exactly as planned. And as it turns out, I’d trade all my degrees, romantic vacations and big empty house in a heartbeat just to have some of that time back. Just to have thought to start trying to conceive sooner. Or to have budgeted money better. And sadly, I’m in good company feeling this way.

I never thought I’d be married 13 years before I finally conceived. Or that my journey to the crib would take 6 years and 6 IVF cycles and then another IVF four years later. Or that the costs…financial and emotional… would be so great and still have an impact on my life for so many years.

There’s something about graduations that brings out the cynic in me.  It’s that innocent optimism of the grad and the sense that they have all the time in the world before having a family that makes me want warn them that a rude awakening may await them. But who am I to shatter their dreams?

So the best advice I can give new grads is to look ahead optimistically, but keep one eye on the mirror and keep your ear on the biological clock because time moves faster than you think. Whether you have a partner or not, see an RE periodically for a complete fertility evaluation as your eggs may be older than you think. Rule out or treat any issues found early…before you’re ready to conceive.  Consider egg freezing, if indicated. A simple semen analysis is an inexpensive test that yields a lot of information. These exams will let you know if you should consider changing your original family-building timing.

Being book smart is great, but there’s more. Be smart about your body and your fertility. Know your options because knowledge is power.

Now, go out and conquer the world.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ***

What, if anything, would you do differently in terms of timing your education, career, and family planning?

no comments

Femvue: The HSG Alternative Test

By David Kreiner MD

June 18th, 2014 at 6:27 am

 

image courtesy of free digital photos.com


Fear can be an awesome motivator.

Unfortunately, when it leads to avoiding a vital medical test such as investigating the patency of fallopian tubes it can prevent a physician from discovering the cause of a couple’s infertility.

The hysterosalpingogram (HSG) is an x-ray of the fallopian tubes after radio-opaque contrast is injected transvaginally through the cervix.  Contrast can be visualized filling the fallopian tubes and spilling through patent fallopian tubes into the pelvis.

The HSG is performed using a metal instrument clamped on the lip of the cervix while a tube is placed through the cervix and contrast injected into the uterine cavity under pressure.  Patients have complained that this procedure is too painful for them to endure and either refuse to undergo the procedure or go for a surgical laparoscopy under general anesthesia.

Today, a new procedure, known as the Femvue, is available whereby a physician inserts a catheter similar to that used at insemination into the cervix.  The physician observes by transvaginal ultrasound the flow of air bubbles through the tubes and into the pelvis.  This can be accomplished in the office with typically minimal discomfort to the patient.

Sometimes, it may be difficult to get reliable results with Femvue in obese patients. In cases where the results of Femvue are abnormal, a traditional HSG may be done to confirm results.

With the Femvue, the fear of pain experienced by some patients from the HSG is no longer an obstacle to the infertility workup.

Femvue is currently being performed at Long Island IVF by Doctors Kreiner, Pena, and Zinger.

* * * * * * * * * * * **

If you have had an HSG, was it painful? If you’ve had Femvue, how did it go?

Have you avoided an HSG because of fear?

 

Photo credit: http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/Diseases_and_Other_M_g287-Woman_With_Abdominal_Pain_p76296.html

 

no comments

7 Tips to Help Your Guy Survive Father’s Day When You’re Infertile

By Tracey Minella

June 14th, 2014 at 7:18 am

 

Credit: david castillo dominici

 

Just as Mother’s Day is the hardest day of the year for infertile women, Father’s Day is roughest on the infertile men.  And society’s expectations of men make it even harder.

Men are “supposed” to be so many things. Tough guys. Knights in shining armor. Passionate lovers. Good providers.

And daddies.

But the harsh reality of infertility flies in the face of all that. Real men cry. Timed sex is no fun. (Ditto for specimen cups.) Ten thousand dollar bills don’t grow on trees. You can’t “just look at her” and get her pregnant. And this Sunday is yet another day…and another year… without a crayon-colored card and painted rock paperweight present.

Our guys are there to pick us up each month as we face another disappointment and to hold us after yet another a failed cycle. Some hold back their tears so we can let ours flow freely while others join in.  (Either way, they hurt, too.) They lose sleep worrying about how to finance the next fertility treatment. And if the cause is male factor, they often shoulder unbearable guilt as well, no matter how much we reassure them.

Face it. Society isn’t even sympathetic to us on Mother’s Day even though the depth of the maternal instinct is universally accepted. So the support, empathy, and understanding our men need needs to come from somewhere else.

It needs to come from us. So what can we do to help our partners this Sunday?

Here are 7 tips to help get him through Father’s Day:

Cater to him: Get inside his head and go for the best diversion for him. Do whatever it is he likes…preferably where there won’t be children (if being around them is hard). In fact, set up a whole day of his favorite things, starting with breakfast in bed.

 

Surprise him: Has he been begging you to share a new experience with him, like fishing or hiking…or any other positively mortifying thing? Has he hinted about a concert or sporting event that you would rather die than attend? Well…surprise him with those tickets or grab the tackle box and go for it with a smile on your face. That simple gesture will speak volumes. (Tomorrow you can tell him it was a one-day only thing!)

 

Solo time with Dad: Instead of having to endure a barbeque with the whole family…including the wise-cracking fertile siblings and the 22 grandchildren they’ve already provided…plan to spend solo time with Dad. Consider breakfast on Sunday morning or dinner on Saturday night instead.

 

 

Daddy-in-Waiting card: He’s already a father in his heart. He’s just waiting. Don’t make him wait to get a card (or a gift for that matter). Write him a heartfelt note telling him how much he means to you and how he’s helped you on this journey. Tell him what wonderful traits he has that you hope your children will one day have and why he’d make a great dad. (Then get the tissues ready.)

 

Adopt a kid: If you can handle it emotionally and you’re close to someone with a child who no longer has a father in the picture, consider doing something with that child on Sunday. Toss a ball in a park, see a movie, get an ice-cream. It may be an awkward or difficult day for the child and his mom, but you could make a difference… and do your heart some good, too.

 

Get physical: Relieve some of the stress of infertility with physical activity. Take a walk or run on the beach. Take a trip to the gym. Have a roll in the hay. Or not.

 

Sow your seed: There’s something cathartic about getting your hands dirty with nature. About sowing seed or planting a tree that will live for generations. About fertility and making something grow. So while you are waiting for that baby, consider planting a Father’s Day tree or garden…something to watch grow over the coming years. A tree next to which you might take annual photos with your future child every Father’s Day as they both grow.

 

Remind him that this journey will end someday and that IVF success rates and technology continue to improve daily so there’s no better time to be trying to conceive.

Hopefully, the reality of that painted rock paperweight is only a stone’s throw away.

* * * * * * * ** * * * * * * * * * * *

What are you planning to do on Father’s Day this year?

 

no comments