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IVF is a Partnership

By David Kreiner MD

October 26th, 2015 at 7:54 am

Credit: Peter Griffin/


A husband’s experience when going through an IVF cycle varies depending in large part on how involved he gets. When a husband participates actively with the IVF process it helps to relieve much of the stress on the wife and on the relationship. The more involved he is, the more invested he will feel in the entire experience, and the more control he’ll feel over the outcome. (This is equally true for partners in same sex couples as well.)

Many husbands and partners pride themselves in their new found skills of mixing medications and administering injections for their wives. It helps many who are used to caring for their wives to be in control of administering the medication for them. Successful IVF then becomes something he played a very active role in, and he’ll relate better to the experience, his wife and the resulting baby.

Despite a lack of prior experience, most people can learn to prepare and administer the medication. Whether it is the feeling of “playing doctor” or the knowledge that he is contributing significantly in the process and supporting his wife, most partners relate that giving their wives the injections was a positive experience for them and for their relationship.

Along the same line of thinking, accompanying your wife at the time of embryo transfer can be most rewarding. This can be a highly emotional procedure. Your embryo/s is being placed in the womb and at least in that moment many women feel as if they are pregnant. Life may be starting here and it is wonderful to share this moment with your wife. Perhaps you may keep the Petri dish as a keepsake as the “baby’s first crib”. It is an experience a couple is not likely to forget as their first time together as a family. I strongly recommend that partners don those scrubs, hats and booties and join their wives and partners as the physician transfers the embryos from the dish into her womb. Nine months later, do the same at delivery for memories that last a lifetime.

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Partners: Would you (or have you) been present during the transfer? What was it like?

Ladies: Would you want (or did you have) your partner present during the transfer? What was it like?


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