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Archive for May, 2017

4 Tricks Infertiles Can Use to Avoid Being Grilled at BBQs All Summer Long

By Tracey Minella

May 30th, 2017 at 7:37 am

 

Image: gratisography/Ryan McGuire


After a long winter– and some still chilly temps and wet days in New York—the kick-off to summer is finally here. Barbecue season is upon us and the charcoal is waiting for fresh meat…

Don’t be the meat.

The first picnics are here and that means you may be thrust into big group social situations again, after a long winter of hibernating. Maybe not this weekend, but maybe next. Or the one after that.

Are you ready? Do you need to up your defense?

Here are 4 tips to help you dodge the naggers before they can ask “When are you guys going to have a baby?”:

Drink heavily. I don’t mean alcohol (necessarily). But if you have a drink in your hand or a glass to your mouth, it can discourage conversation. Plus, you can down the contents and excuse yourself for a refill at the first hint of unpleasant conversation. Or if the nagger really oversteps, and you happen to slip and accidentally spill it down their dress, well, that’s really a diversion.

Stuff your face. You don’t have to eat non-stop, but (like the drinking tip) keeping something in your hand or on a plate that you can pop into your mouth when a nagger approaches could be key. You can’t be expected to answer an inappropriate… or any…question with your mouth full.

Have a Plan B… and sensible shoes. If a nagger is in the kitchen where you’re helping out, grab a tray of hors d’oeuvres and make a hasty exit to the yard. Or reverse. Or seek refuge in the bathroom for a bit.

Use children as shields. Normally, the kind of people who butt into your sex life aren’t the ones who play with the 87 kids at the party. Sure, being with other peoples’ kids can hurt, but it may still be better to jump into their game than face a nagger. No one can expect you to provide intimate details while you’re jumping rope or pitching a whiffle ball. And those whiffle balls can have unpredictable paths, too…

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Do you have any other tips to add on how to avoid or diffuse the nagger problem?

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The Best Way to Survive Mother’s Day When Infertile

By Tracey Minella

May 11th, 2017 at 12:19 pm

 

photo: ryanmcguire/ gratisography


This might seem unconventional for an infertility blogger to suggest, but…

Stop looking for something online that will make you feel better this weekend. Chances are it isn’t out here. And even if there was one special nugget of wisdom that might somehow ease your pain, you’ll have to sift through so much useless and painful content that your heart will be in shreds before you find that elusive gem.

The worst place you can be when you’re infertile is on social media on Mother’s Day. The day photos of moms and babies posted are multiplied 10,000 times more than the already unbearable daily number you endure. Why subject yourself to millions of pictures of mothers and children or hundreds of blog posts like this one – – trying and failing to make you feel any better? Please hide. Resist the habit of Facebook. Protect your heart.

Yes, I’ve been in your shoes, but it was before the hell that is social media. I only had to endure real life pregnant people and babies in my actual face—not the flood of thousands of them in my virtual face 24/7. You have it so much worse in that respect—though IVF success rates have soared since I did it. Our experiences are the same, yet different. Only other infertile women could understand how you are feeling–currently infertile women.

Ten stressed-out Mother’s Days without a baby I suffered. I have walked that long and lonely path you are on now, and I do remember it like it was yesterday. Yet I know my well-meaning words of hopeful advice– that I so want you to find comfort in today– can’t help but somehow fall short because I finally became a mom while you are still waiting for your day. I walked before you, and it’s frustrating to know that I can’t comfort you the way someone walking beside you can. So while I do remember, speaking to you from where I am now instead of where I was then makes my words just one small step above those of others not currently walking in your shoes. Maybe the words of one who succeeded at IVF, even after many, many failures and losses are as unwelcome on such a difficult day as the words of those who conceived easily and effortlessly.

So on this hardest day of the year I won’t try further than to say that I know you can get through this day and I’m sorry for your pain. There is no magic answer in this post or any of the others you may read about Mother’s Day.

Despite constant advances in assisted reproductive technologies, no one can promise you a baby this cycle or in the future despite the technology advancing with lightning speed. For me, not knowing if it’d ever work was the hardest thing. Had I only known for certain that at some point– even years away– I’d definitely have a baby in my arms, it would’ve made all the difference in managing the highs and lows during those 10 long years. But there is no crystal ball. While many people might become parents if they just kept undergoing treatment, many people’s wallets are exhausted before their spirit is ready to stop treatment—or even before they can begin it. That fear kept me up at night.

You know what you need to get through this day– and only you know what you need. Time as a couple, alone time, or time with family and friends. Do what you need to do so it will pass.

For what it’s worth, know that I and the many women who walked before you will be looking backwards on Sunday with hope and strength for you as you walk on. Strength to get through this day– and hope that by this time next year you will be looking back on your journey as well.

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The Best Way to Survive Mother’s Day When Infertile

By Tracey Minella

May 11th, 2017 at 9:06 am

 

photo credit: ryanmcguire/gratisography


This might seem unconventional for an infertility blogger to suggest, but…

Stop looking for something online that will make you feel better this weekend. Chances are it isn’t out here. And even if there was one special nugget of wisdom that might somehow ease your pain, you’ll have to sift through so much useless and painful content that your heart will be in shreds before you find that elusive gem.

The worst place you can be when you’re infertile is on social media on Mother’s Day. The day photos of moms and babies posted are multiplied 10,000 times more than the already unbearable daily number you endure. Why subject yourself to millions of pictures of mothers and children or hundreds of blog posts like this one – – trying and failing to make you feel any better? Please hide. Resist the habit of Facebook. Protect your heart.

Yes, I’ve been in your shoes, but it was before the hell that is social media. I only had to endure real life pregnant people and babies in my actual face—not the flood of thousands of them in my virtual face 24/7. You have it so much worse in that respect—though IVF success rates have soared since I did it. Our experiences are the same, yet different. Only other infertile women could understand how you are feeling–currently infertile women.

Ten stressed-out Mother’s Days without a baby I suffered. I have walked that long and lonely path you are on now, and I do remember it like it was yesterday. Yet I know my well-meaning words of hopeful advice– that I so want you to find comfort in today– can’t help but somehow fall short because I finally became a mom while you are still waiting for your day. I walked before you, and it’s frustrating to know that I can’t comfort you the way someone walking beside you can. So while I do remember, speaking to you from where I am now instead of where I was then makes my words just one small step above those of others not currently walking in your shoes. Maybe the words of one who succeeded at IVF, even after many, many failures and losses are as unwelcome on such a difficult day as the words of those who conceived easily and effortlessly.

So on this hardest day of the year I won’t try further than to say that I know you can get through this day and I’m sorry for your pain. There is no magic answer in this post or any of the others you may read about Mother’s Day.

Despite constant advances in assisted reproductive technologies, no one can promise you a baby this cycle or in the future despite the technology advancing with lightning speed. For me, not knowing if it’d ever work was the hardest thing. Had I only known for certain that at some point– even years away– I’d definitely have a baby in my arms, it would’ve made all the difference in managing the highs and lows during those 10 long years. But there is no crystal ball. While many people might become parents if they just kept undergoing treatment, many people’s wallets are exhausted before their spirit is ready to stop treatment—or even before they can begin it. That fear kept me up at night.

You know what you need to get through this day– and only you know what you need. Time as a couple, alone time, or time with family and friends. Do what you need to do so it will pass.

For what it’s worth, know that I and the many women who walked before you will be looking backwards on Sunday with hope and strength for you as you walk on. Strength to get through this day– and hope that by this time next year you will be looking back on your journey as well.

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Teacher Appreciation Day: When Will it be YOUR Turn to be the Parent?

By admin

May 9th, 2017 at 3:27 pm

 

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We know it’s a tough job to be a teacher…especially when you are struggling with infertility. To spend all day, each day surrounded by little faces—playing a big part in not just in educating these children entrusted to your care, but also in raising them. It’s not a job you can turn off when the final bell rings. You keep thinking about them 24/7. Just like infertility.

When will it be your turn to be the parent at the parent teacher conference?

Well, maybe we can help you get that family started.

Did you know that Long Island IVF is a designated Center of Excellence for the Empire Plan, the insurance provider for many local Teachers as well as other NY State and Local Government Employees? That’s great news for Long Island’s insured teachers and others who want to take advantage of the substantial financial benefits that come with choosing a COE provider for your fertility care and have those services provided on Long Island.

Even those who aren’t able to take advantage of the Empire Plan’s COE benefits can confidently trust Long Island IVF with their fertility care. Our doctors are consistently voted Top Docs and Super Doctors by their peers. We brought Long Island its first IVF baby and many other firsts in the field.

In addition to the assurance of working with a program that has achieved high quality measures, our COE designated program affords our Empire Plan patients an additional financial advantage — once treatment is approved by the Empire Plan, you receive full benefits with no co-payments or co-insurance requirements for the services covered by their insurance plan.

Now is the perfect time to start planning for infertility treatment this summer—especially for teachers! Free from the stress of a teacher’s rigid schedule, the summer months offer the flexibility to do IVF (or IUI) in a more relaxed frame of mind.

If you are not already a Long Island IVF patient and would like to jump start your family-building plans, call us today. With six offices across Long Island and Brooklyn, there is sure to one that’s conveniently located near you.

We look forward to welcoming brand new patients as well as patients transferring from other practices for insurance reasons. Let’s start building that family together this summer. School is almost out. Sounds like the perfect time for a personal project.

Call our New Patient Coordinator at 877-838-BABY to schedule your initial consultation today.

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Are you a teacher or government employee who may need help conceiving—or do you know of someone else who does? Please share. You never know if that great teacher who your child loves is secretly longing for a baby of her own.

 

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Nurse Appreciation Week at Long Island IVF

By Tracey Minella

May 6th, 2017 at 6:35 am

 

throwback circa 1999

 

Let’s hear it for the best nurses in town!

You’ve yelled at them. Cried on their shoulders. Squeezed their hands. Lent them your sore and weary veins. And celebrated (or will celebrate) your success with them.

They are your Long Island IVF Nurses. And they are the embodiment of all that National Nurses Appreciation Week is meant to celebrate.

They’ve been right there in the trenches with you on the most important journey you may ever take. They’re the link between you and your doctor. Maybe the link between you and your sanity at times, too.

They know your name and your history. Taught you how to do injections. Ordered your meds. Wiped your tears. They’re your biggest fan and are ready with a hug of support or congratulations. They’ve got your back.

In all seriousness, Long Island IVF’s nurses are some of the most dedicated and experienced IVF nurses you’ll ever find. Did you know that many of them have been with Long Island IVF for over 25 years and some from practically day 1? They love each other and they love what they do—and it shows. I know because they used to be my nurses, too.

So if there’s a special nurse at Long Island IVF (or anywhere) that has touched your life, please drop her a note, give her a call, or just give her a “shout-out” right here in the comments to let her know how much she means to you. It will make her day!

As a 7 time IVF patient from the “dark ages” of the 90’s, my personal shout out goes to my own LIIVF nurses: Joey, Maryann, Sue and Vicky (pre-donor egg coordinator days!) And they are ALL still here.

Joey, you rode the ups and downs like they were your own and you always knew how to make me laugh, even when I was dying.

Maryann, your Katie stories and special humor were always day-brighteners. Your perfect mix of realism and optimism kept me grounded and hopeful.

Sue, no one…and I mean no one… could ever be more organized and on the ball than you. Thanks for giving me the peace of mind of knowing that every single minor detail of all my IVF cycle stuff was in order on your watch.

Vicky, I’ve never met anyone who oozes comfort, calm, and hope like you. Having you as a nurse was like wrapping all the stress of IVF in some fluffy, happy, insulating cloud. It’s no wonder you moved on to run the Donor Egg Program.

My other nurses, Denise, Patty, and Dotty retired or moved on, but are all special to me.

Now it’s YOUR turn…

Shout out begins now!

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Who is your favorite LIIVF nurse?

 

 

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