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Archive for the ‘gay parenting’ Category

Don’t Miss Long Island IVF’s Free Donor Egg Seminar

By Tracey Minella

March 19th, 2018 at 12:13 pm

Let’s face it. Having a baby using donor eggs is just not most people’s first choice. The vast majority of women understandably want a baby with a genetic connection to both them and their partner. So, it can be hard to get past the fear that a donor egg baby may not feel like it’s really yours. And there are so many questions about the process itself and what life is like afterwards. Questions only a mom who used donor eggs can really answer.

That’s why if you are considering using an egg donor to start your family, you should come to Long Island IVF’s free “New Beginnings Through Donor Egg” seminar tomorrow night, March 20, 2018 at our Melville office, from 7:00-9:30 pm. Pre-register here now. You will not only meet our compassionate and experienced Donor Egg Team, but you’ll get to meet one of our many successful and happy donor egg recipient moms. Bring your partner or a friend or come alone. We’re waiting to meet you.

One of our recipient moms is going to share her story of how she was able to become a mom because of our donor egg program. She’s going to tell you the challenges she faced, how she came to accept the idea of using an egg donor, and what life is like now that she is a mother.

She’s going to answer all those questions you have right now, because it wasn’t so long ago that she was in your shoes and had the very same questions and concerns.

We understand that if you are considering donor eggs, you are likely at a difficult crossroads in your fertility journey–one that was likely arrived at after a long, hard road of treatments and sometimes devastating losses. You’re probably on the fence. A bit hesitant.

Come down and get those questions answered, even if you think you aren’t ready to act on the information just yet. Hear a success story. Learn if using young, healthy eggs might be the missing piece for your IVF success. Get educated and empowered about this powerful family-building option.

Women whose eggs have been compromised by advanced age, premature ovarian failure, failed IVF treatment, cancer, or poor egg quality should consider donor egg therapy. Decades of happy moms agree that using donor eggs was the best decision they ever made and many wish they’d come around to the idea sooner. In addition, gay men wanting biological children also need the help of an egg donor.

Victoria Loveland, RN & Donor Egg Nursing Coordinator, Aviva Zigelman, LCSW & Donor Egg Program Director, and Long Island IVF partner and reproductive endocrinologist Steven Brenner, MD will all be there to answer your questions. You can even speak to them privately if you’re more comfortable.

Long Island IVF offers several different egg donation options, including:

  • Sole Recipient Fresh Egg Donation,
  • Shared Recipient Fresh Egg Donation, and
  • Frozen Egg Donation.

Each option offers its own unique benefits, costs, and other considerations. We have young, healthy, pre-screened, anonymous egg donors representing multiple ethnicities ready to help build your family. Or you can use a known donor if you prefer.

This seminar is generally intimate, low-key and not overly-crowded.

Location: Long Island IVF 8 Corporate Center Drive, Suite 101, Melville, NY

Date: Tuesday March 20, 2018

Time: 7:00 pm- 9:30 pm

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Will you be there? If you’d like to attend but can’t, please call anyway and ask for Vicky Loveland, so we can make other arrangements to help you.


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Groundhog’s Day–The Infertility Movie

By Tracey Minella

February 2nd, 2018 at 2:04 pm


Groundhog’s Day for infertility patients is about more than just pulling a sleeping rodent out of a hole to find out the forecast. Infertility patients relate more to Groundhog’s Day, the Movie. Remember how Bill Murray’s character was trapped reliving Groundhog’s Day all over again? Every. Single. Day? And how he desperately tried to tweak things each day in order change the outcome and finally get the thing he wanted that was always just out of his reach?

Well, that’s essentially the life of the infertility patient on their journey—especially if the baby quest is dragging out like a long, dreary winter with no hope of spring in sight. Day after day of blood work, ultrasounds, injections that blend into each other. And a frustrating hell of repetitive negative pee sticks month after disappointing month.

So, if you need extra support, Long Island IVF offers it. Our innovative Mind-Body Program, which includes group and individual counseling, may help you cope.

Or register here and come down for our free “Rekindling the Romance in the Face of Infertility” workshop on February 8th. All are welcome—no need to be a patient.

Here on Long Island for the second straight year, two local groundhogs can’t seem to agree on whether we’re going to have to suffer through more ugliness or be blessed with an early spring.

So, what do we do?

We have faith that the outcome we wish for is going to be the one we actually get. And we look forward to the morning when we will wake up from this difficult repetitiveness to a new day where the shadow of infertility is no longer in sight.

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Who Will Carry the Baby in LGBT Family-Building? (Part One): For Gay Men

By Tracey Minella

January 26th, 2018 at 3:58 pm

In family-building for heterosexual couples, this is not generally a question. But in LGBT family-building, single gay men or gay couples who want a baby that shares a genetic connection with them, the first question to answer is: Who will carry the baby?

Except in cases where a single gay man or both partners in a gay couple have male factor infertility, sperm is usually readily available for baby-making purposes. But the need for a woman’s egg– as well as a uterus in which the baby will grow– is obvious. Fortunately, there are donor programs at Long Island IVF.

In general, and depending on where they live, gay men can choose either a surrogate OR an egg donor and gestational carrier to carry the baby. Both of these options involve another woman carrying the pregnancy for the single gay man or gay couple as intended parent(s), so it helps to understand the difference, even though surrogacy is not legal in New York State.

In a surrogacy arrangement, the woman surrogate uses her own egg to become pregnant with the gay intended parent father’s sperm. Just to be clear –and to the relief of all involved –the pair does not have sexual relations to establish the pregnancy. Instead, a semen specimen is collected from the gay man who intends to be the biological father, and it’s processed and frozen in advance. The surrogate will be monitored for ovulation (when the egg is released from the ovary and the limited window for conception begins). At that time, in a fast and simple office visit, the father’s specimen is thawed and deposited into her uterus via a thin catheter– through a procedure called an intrauterine insemination, or (“IUI”).

If the IUI is successful, the surrogate carries the pregnancy to term, and gives the newborn to the gay father(s) upon birth, thereafter relinquishing her parental rights (in the manner dictated by that particular state’s laws). The newborn is genetically-linked to both the surrogate birth mother and the gay father. Again, this is not an option in New York.

Those of a certain age may remember the infamous New Jersey “Baby M” case of the mid-80s, which thrust the validity of surrogacy agreements into the national limelight. The birth mother, who was genetically-connected to the baby, changed her mind and wanted to keep the baby instead of turning her over to the biological father and his wife, who were the intended parents pursuant to a surrogacy contract.

A long legal battle ensued, and in a nutshell, the court ruled that the paid surrogacy agreement was invalid and against public policy, and that the birth mother and the biological father were the baby’s legal parents. Further, the case was remanded to Family Court for a judge to decide which parent would be awarded legal custody of the baby, using the “best interests of the child” standard that’s used in regular child custody cases. Custody was given to the father, but the mother was awarded visitation rights. *

Times have changed.

While surrogacy in some form is legal in some states, the advancements in reproductive medicine that followed in the decades since Baby M have now made the use of gestational carriers and donor eggs not only medically possible and popular, but also often the only legal way to have someone carry a baby for you.

Gestational carrier with donor egg is the alternative option to surrogacy for a gay man or gay couple to have a genetically-linked baby and it’s the only legal option in New York State. It involves finding two different women to help you– an egg donor and a gestational carrier. That’s how it’s different from surrogacy.

First, the egg donor only provides the eggs, not the uterus. She could be someone you know (like a sister or friend) or could be an anonymous donor who you select after reviewing an extensive profile of donor egg candidates. At Long Island IVF, we have pre-screened donor egg candidates ready to help you build your family.

Lady #2 is the gestational carrier. She only provides the uterus, not the eggs. She can be someone you know, or someone you don’t yet know but who you select through an agency. In most cases, you will get to know and develop a relationship with the gestational carrier.

With the gestational carrier and donor eggs option, the woman chosen to be the egg donor undergoes what is essentially an in vitro fertilization or (“IVF”) procedure up to the point of the egg retrieval. That means she will receive hormonal injections, bloodwork, and ultrasound monitoring of her ovaries (and the developing follicles/eggs inside them) over a period of a few weeks. The purpose of the treatment is for her to produce multiple egg-containing follicles rather than the one egg she would normally produce that month.

When the time is right, the eggs are retrieved prior to ovulation by a reproductive endocrinologist using a transvaginal needle aspiration procedure and injected with the sperm from the gay man (or men) intended parent(s) in the hope that fertilization occurs.

placed in a petri dish with sperm from the gay man (or men) intended parent(s) in the hope that fertilization occurs.

The resulting fertilized eggs, now known as embryos, will be frozen (a/k/a cryopreserved) until such time as they are ready to be thawed and transferred into the waiting uterus of the chosen gestational carrier. [Note that if pre-genetic screening (“PGS”) is elected, it is done prior to the freezing of the embryos.]

The thawed embryos—generally one or two– are placed into the gestational carrier’s uterus through a thin catheter in a fast and simple procedure performed by the reproductive endocrinologist, aptly called “the transfer”. The intention is for an embryo to implant in the uterine wall and a healthy pregnancy to result. If the gestational carrier gets pregnant, she turns the baby –who unlike in surrogacy has no genetic connection to her – –over to the gay man (or men) who is the intended parent(s).

In accordance with applicable state laws, these women are generally well-compensated for their time and effort. Because of the need for gay men to involve two different women in the process, costs are higher than what lesbians and straight couples using assisted reproductive technology typically incur. However, the good news is that a single egg donor cycle may produce enough eggs that gay male intended parents may be able to build their families through more than one pregnancy using just the eggs retrieved from that initial cycle. So, future pregnancy attempts would require the compensating the gestational carrier, but not the egg donor.

Here is how that could work: They might transfer 1-2 embryos into the gestational carrier on the first try (leaving the rest frozen), and if successful, they have a baby (or two). Then maybe a year or more later, they transfer another 1-2 embryos into the same (or another) gestational carrier, and if successful, they have another baby (or two). And so on, until all the embryos are used or they no longer want to use the embryos for additional children.

While there would be the expense of the gestational carrier for each birth (as well as for the medical treatment expenses for the gestational carrier to undergo a frozen cycle), there would be no additional egg donor costs– until you exhausted your supply of embryos from the first egg donor. As exciting and promising as this process is, each case is different and no program can guarantee a baby in the end for any couple. That said, we do have patients who have successfully used embryos retrieved from a single IVF cycle to build their multi-children families—a child at a time—in separate births spaced a few years apart.  So, there is reason to consider this wonderful family-building option that wasn’t available—especially to gay men—all that long ago.

[The second part on this topic on who will carry the baby—for lesbian singles and couples—will be posted next month.]

If you are a gay man or lesbian—single or married– interested in family building, Long Island IVF has decades of experience helping the community become parents.  Please contact us today for more information or to schedule an initial consultation. In addition, follow us on social media for info on our many free upcoming events.

We are proud to partner with the LGBT Network to provide the community with information, education, support, and access to the most advanced traditional and holistic assisted reproductive technologies. We also understand, respect, and are sensitive to the unique needs of the LGBT community when it comes to building its families.

This year, Long Island IVF is celebrating a milestone–our 30th anniversary. If you are ready for parenthood, we would love the opportunity to assist you with your own milestone.




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