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Archive for the ‘psychological issues in IVF’ Category

Infertility and Anti-Valentine’s Day

By Tracey Minella

February 14th, 2018 at 5:30 pm

image: gratisography.com-ryan mcguire

Ugh. Valentine’s Day…another rough day for many infertile couples.

Sure you can have a romantic night alone. But there’s all kinds of stress with tonight’s “expectations”. Don’t you want to scream “I really just want a snotty, crying, feverish baby to keep me up all night!”?

Frankly, there’s been enough alone time—maybe years of it. It’s time for a bunch of kids to ruin all that. Hello, universe? We’re still waiting!

Then there’s your friends. The ones with kids (which is basically ALL of them, right?) who complain how they don’t want to stay home with their little ones and can’t wait until the sitter arrives tonight so they can toast each other over a peaceful candlelight meal. That’s rough–especially when you’d give anything to have a baby hanging on your neck as you pay the Dominos delivery guy.

You can’t win. You don’t have the kids– yet. And the emotional and financial stresses of infertility take the romance out of your time alone.

So, what do you do if you don’t want to do the traditional Valentine’s Day stuff?

Why not take VD to the extreme and get all silly about it? Over-do it. Do the candy, the flowers, the candles, the rose petals, the satin sheets…the whole, cheesy cliché of it. And then laugh at yourselves. You know the laugh I’m talking about. “Your” laugh. It’s that special thing between you where one can just look at the other and you laugh uncontrollably. You could both use it.

Or do the opposite. Anti-Valentine’s Day. Defy it. No card or gift. No succumbing to the pressure of Hallmark’s holiday. Save a rose garden somewhere by rejecting flowers.

Need inspiration on how to practice extreme defiance of all things traditionally Valentine-y?

  • Skip the primp and be the low-key version of yourself.
  • Run 80 errands for the benefit of people other than yourself.
  • Have that annual GYN exam that’s overdue. It’s the easiest day to get an appointment. Who needs a card when you can have a prescription for a mammogram and a sonogram?
  • Hit the golden arches for lunch. Because nothing says Valentine’s like a Big Mac meal. Go on, supersize it.
  • The Finale: Invite your mother-in-law for dinner.

Bet your day’s looking better already. No need to thank me.

Seriously, just make it whatever you and your partner need it to be today. Don’t succumb to society’s pressures about how you should look, act, or behave. Play it up– or down. But do take a moment to be thankful for each other to lean on during these hard days. Don’t ever downplay that.

And have faith.

Because maybe next year, you’ll be greeting that Dominos guy with a baby hanging on your neck. (How’s that for extra cheese?)

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So, what are YOUR Valentine’s Day plans?

 

 

 

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Groundhog’s Day–The Infertility Movie

By Tracey Minella

February 2nd, 2018 at 2:04 pm

image: wpclipart.com

Groundhog’s Day for infertility patients is about more than just pulling a sleeping rodent out of a hole to find out the forecast. Infertility patients relate more to Groundhog’s Day, the Movie. Remember how Bill Murray’s character was trapped reliving Groundhog’s Day all over again? Every. Single. Day? And how he desperately tried to tweak things each day in order change the outcome and finally get the thing he wanted that was always just out of his reach?

Well, that’s essentially the life of the infertility patient on their journey—especially if the baby quest is dragging out like a long, dreary winter with no hope of spring in sight. Day after day of blood work, ultrasounds, injections that blend into each other. And a frustrating hell of repetitive negative pee sticks month after disappointing month.

So, if you need extra support, Long Island IVF offers it. Our innovative Mind-Body Program, which includes group and individual counseling, may help you cope.

Or register here and come down for our free “Rekindling the Romance in the Face of Infertility” workshop on February 8th. All are welcome—no need to be a patient.

Here on Long Island for the second straight year, two local groundhogs can’t seem to agree on whether we’re going to have to suffer through more ugliness or be blessed with an early spring.

So, what do we do?

We have faith that the outcome we wish for is going to be the one we actually get. And we look forward to the morning when we will wake up from this difficult repetitiveness to a new day where the shadow of infertility is no longer in sight.

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Rekindling the Romance in the Face of Infertility Workshop

By Tracey Minella

February 2nd, 2018 at 10:42 am

Rekindling the Romance

When baby-making get serious– and infertility treatment dictates when you can and cannot have sex– romance goes right out the window. If only there was a fun and supportive workshop where you could learn how to rekindle your romance while struggling with infertility…

Well, actually, there is! Find out how to recapture the passion at Long Island IVF’s free workshop “Rekindling Romance in the Face of Infertility”— open to all infertile couples.

Over the past few years, Long Island IVF has been offering this special workshop for infertile couples, timed right before Valentine’s Day. Led by our popular counselor and infertility specialist, Bina Benisch, MS, RN, the workshop explores ways couples can navigate the challenges of feeling sexual and loving – – and keeping their passion alive – – while battling infertility. Ask anyone who’s attended one of Bina’s past workshops and you will hear how easy she is to open up to and how much she understands what infertile couples go through.

If your interest has been piqued– but your “awkwardness alarm” is ringing– then you are in good company. For those blushing at the thought of what’s going to happen here, rest assured no one has to reveal anything personal or even speak at all. This workshop is generally attended by a small group of couples just like you. Wouldn’t it be nice to be around other couples who “get it” for a change—people who understand what you’re going through in a way fertile friends and family just don’t–because they are feeling the same way, too?

Some past attendees tell us they were hesitant and nervous coming in, but were so happy that they did. Just being in the presence of others who are in your shoes makes the isolation of infertility feel less overwhelming. We’ve even had some real friendships begin at this workshop each year as strangers are converted to friends who want to keep in touch beyond the workshop.

The free workshop will be held on Thursday night, February 8, 2018 at 7-9pm the Long Island IVF office at 8 Corporate Center Dr., Melville, New York.

All are welcome to attend—no need to be a patient of our practice. Can’t get your partner to come with you? Bring a friend or come alone. Pre-registration is required so secure your spot and sign up here now.

Let us help you dig out of the depression of scheduled sex, negativity, self-criticism, and fear and rekindle the romance and spontaneity that’s buried under that pile of negative pee sticks.

You love your partner and you are in this together. Let us help you reconnect…because reducing stress and rekindling romance can only help in the end.

We hope to see you there! Register today.

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Hanukkah Wishes for the Infertile

By Tracey Minella

December 12th, 2017 at 9:52 am

 

image: digitalart at freedigitalphotos.net


With the festival of lights now underway, everyone at Long Island IVF wishes all those who celebrate it a very Happy Hanukkah.

 

Like many holidays throughout the year, Hanukkah and its traditions can bring both peace and stress to those suffering from infertility.

 

Seeing the little ones squealing as they spin dreidels can be hard to take when all you want is a child of your own. Same thing goes for the gelt collection—chocolate-covered or otherwise. Of course, many of you are anxiously awaiting the day you can pass these rich traditions on to your own children.

 

The stress can even make you over-indulge in the fried-food favorites of the holiday. And no one would blame you if you did. Especially if having a mouthful of latkes is your way to avoid answering Aunt Muriel’s nosy baby questions.

 

For those who are frustrated or losing faith due to the delay in your family-building plan, I hope you’ll draw strength from the Hanukkah story and embrace the light from the candles as they are lit each evening.

 

When you feel you have only enough left in you to go on for one more day, you can.. and will… somehow inexplicably, go on for much longer than you ever thought possible. So, keep the faith.

 

And for many, you will witness a miracle.

 

 

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Long Island IVF “Coming Out Infertile” Day Workshop

By Tracey Minella

November 13th, 2017 at 8:46 am

If you’re suffering in silence, you’ve got a date with us tonight.

Are you dreading the winter holiday season that’s only a week away? More silent suffering with your secret struggle of trying to start or build your own family? All those nagging questions about when are you finally going to have that baby? Being surrounded with nieces and nephews and their wish lists? Surprise pregnancy announcements at almost every gathering? Ugh.

Well, Long Island IVF can help. We’re proud to sponsor the third annual “Coming Out Infertile” Day on November 13, 2017 with a “Tired of the Secret?” special workshop for those suffering in silence from infertility. All are welcome and its free. No need to be a patient. If you haven’t registered yet, there is still time to come down.

Coming Out Infertile Day was conceived to encourage those suffering from infertility to “come out” to their families, friends, and/or employers if they feel ready to do so… and to help them with the tools they need to do so. And most importantly, to come out in a way that feels right for them.

Infertility is a devastating disease that affects 1 out of every 8 couples. In addition to the pain and fear that comes with this diagnosis, many couples feel the unwarranted stigma of shame and guilt. Consequently, they keep their infertility a secret—even from their family and closest friends.

They are often afraid…or don’t know how… to tell their families and friends (or their employers) that they are having trouble getting or staying pregnant and need treatment. So they suffer in silence. Often for many months or years.

The holiday season, with its focus on children and families, is a particularly hard time for infertile folks who are easy targets for nagging personal questions about baby-making plans. So, a week before the emotional onslaught is the perfect time to offer help “coming out”. You can come out today or plan to come out on Thanksgiving or some other time during the holiday season that feels right.

Coming Out Infertile Day…seven months after National Infertility Awareness Week in April and right before the stress of the holidays…is a timely public reminder of the pain of infertility and a chance for those suffering to come out and get support.

Long Island IVF is offering “Tired of the Secret?”—a free Coming-Out Infertile Workshop on November 13, 2017 from 6:30-8:30 pm at its offices at 8 Corporate Center Drive, Melville, New York. Led by our own Mind-Body medicine expert and psychologist, Bina Benisch, MS, RN, who specializes in counseling infertility patients, attendees will be given the support they need to come out infertile in a manner that’s right for them. Are you ready to tell just your parents? Or your best friend? The whole family? Need to know how to break it to your boss? We can help. The workshop is free but pre-registration is requested, so register here.

It’s time to end the stigma of infertility. It’s time to unburden yourself from the added weight of this secret and get the support you need. It’s time to #comeoutinfertile.

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What is holding you back from coming out infertile?

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Halloween is Like a Cavity for Infertiles

By Tracey Minella

October 31st, 2017 at 8:10 am

 

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at freedigitalphotos.net


There is no sugar coating the fact that Halloween is a rough one. Maybe the roughest of all. Sort of like a cavity that grows more painful as the long day drags on. And the fact that it’s not a weekend and won’t kick in until after school is no real consolation—especially since Halloween has become a week-long event of local parades, festivals, and multiple parties. As anyone who has experienced it knows, there are few things more painful than dental pain…except of course infertility.

So, if you can’t access some Novocain to numb the pain of the day, what do you do?

Halloween has always been the one universal children’s holiday…celebrated by all children. We all remember Halloween fondly, the costumes, the candy, the parties, the doorbells. The sugar-rush, shaving cream fights, and the eggs… for you rebels out there. Bolting from house to house for hours, until our feet dragged from the weight of a pillowcase that rivaled Santa’s sack. Parents watching from the curb.

Just one more house.

Halloween is literally the most “in-your-face” holiday. It’s an onslaught far worse than Christmas or Hanukah… where you only have to deal with the kids in your immediate families. Today, the little devils are everywhere. All day and night. In the streets and at your door. You can’t hide.

Childhood memories of Halloween make us want to be kids again. And simultaneously makes us want to have our own so they can experience the same wonder. We want to be the one at the curb today, the one who checks the bags for safety, the one posting 102 pictures to Facebook. We want to go to a “trunk or treat” event and safe Halloween outings at local schools or host our own kiddie party.

Waiting is like a little pirate’s plastic dagger in the heart.

Another year that the dream of dressing up a little boy or girl in the perfect costume hasn’t come true. Some of us may have already bought that tiny pea pod costume in a moment of weakness…or hope.

Novocain, where are you?

Do whatever it takes to get you through the day. Stay off social media. Maybe seeing the kids helps you somehow and if so, then drink in as much hope as they bring you for the future. But if answering the door 372 times feels like a dentist’s drill to the heart, then just lower the lights, put a bowl of treats out, and retire early… with a bag (or two) of your own favorite candy. Because sometimes, Milky Way is the only way.

A cavity, like infertility, takes time to develop… and hurts like hell. But they both eventually do get resolved. And more often than not, in a good way.

So, here’s hoping your Halloween isn’t as painful as a root canal… and that you’ll be flashing a big, bright and pain-free smile before the next one rolls around. Pea pod in tow.

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How do/did you handle Halloween when infertile?

 

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Several Helpful Resources for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

By Tracey Minella

October 5th, 2017 at 11:31 am

 

image credit: Luminous Light Studio


Unless you are experiencing infertility yourself, you can’t possibly understand its pain. No matter how much your heart breaks for us. You have to live it to get the hell that is infertility.

But there is actually something darker. Something sadder, harder, blacker, more unbearable.

Sometimes, just as you think you can finally glimpse the sun peeking through the darkest forest, you lose your footing and tumble into the blackest hole. To a special section of hell so awful that it forces you to redefine the term.

Ectopic pregnancy. Miscarriage. Stillbirth. SIDS or other infancy loss. Whatever the cause or the timing, the unthinkable has happened… your baby is gone.

How in the world do you possibly go on?

October is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month (October 15th is PILA Day) and since infertility patients often suffer these unimaginable losses along their journeys, it’s important to acknowledge the pain and provide some resources to help the suffering try to cope. Like infertility itself, unless you’ve lived it, you can’t relate.

Here are some places where those who have suffered a loss, and those who love them, can start:

Project Heal I cannot say enough about this Baby Loss Community support group, available online and through Facebook. The moderator, Carlymarie, suffered the loss of her son, Christian. She helps people cope (and they help her in return) through photography, writing, beach art, short films, and many other therapeutic ways and projects. She is hosting a month-long “Capture Your Grief” event throughout October in honor of National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. Here is a blurb from the Capture Your Grief 2017 project:

“…There are 31 acts, one for each day in the month of October. You are invited to perform each act and share a photo, artwork, video or written word that captures your own journey. Capture Your Grief is about becoming more present and conscious in your grief experience so that you may learn more about yourself and hopefully discover more ways of healing…You can join the project at any time of the month and there is no pressure to take part every single day. This year, I am inviting you to create a legacy of loving kindness in memory of your baby/child/love ones. The theme is “Their Light Shines On”.

Her site, which provides all the details, is a “must visit” for anyone who knows someone or who has themselves suffered a loss.

Luminous Light StudioIn addition, consider visiting this site or Facebook page where another artist and bereaved mother, offers support and beautiful artwork. Her history of secondary infertility, miscarriage, and the loss of her son, Silas, inspires her work. She is the creator of the beautiful image that accompanies this blog post.

Still Standing Magazine  This online magazine is exclusively related to “Surviving Child Loss and Infertility”. You can navigate your way through subjects like:  Grief, Infertility, Parenting after Loss, Faith, Siblings’ Grief, Pregnancy after Loss, and more. Everything is written by someone who has somehow survived and is “still standing”.

Molly Bears  This venture was started by an angel mom to comfort other families who have experienced pregnancy and infant loss by creating and sharing the gift of a weighted handmade bear.  Recipients of these custom-made keepsakes may find some measure of comfort in having something soft to hold which can be made to order at the specific weight of the infant that was born sleeping or who passed shortly thereafter. Loved ones who are looking to do something for a grieving couple to acknowledge their loss and pain can inquire about a Molly Bear. This organization was started by a woman who was given a 3-pound weighted teddy bear by a good friend after her daughter, Molly, was stillborn at 34 weeks. After weeks of sleepless nights, she found great comfort in holding the bear which she altered to Molly’s exact birth weight. For more information on volunteering, donating, or ordering see the site above.

Infertility/Infant Loss Jewelry and other Tangibles*: There are several sites that offer hand-made and/or customized jewelry, memory items, prints, and other things especially for those who are suffering infertility or from pregnancy or infant loss. Some people who have suffered a loss may find comfort in wearing a piece of jewelry or having an item that commemorates or acknowledges that lost life. Here is a sampling of such sites:

https://www.etsy.com/market/baby_loss_comfort

http://www.pregnancyandinfantlosskeepsakes.com/store/Default.asp

http://www.etsy.com/shop/bugaboojewelry

https://www.etsy.com/shop/HBWforaMiracle?ref=hdr_shop_menu

http://www.myforeverchild.com/

Professional Counseling   Sometimes, a professional therapist is the best option to help you after such an unbearable loss. The Long Island IVF Mind-Body Program has a dedicated and supportive psychologist uniquely-qualified to support you through infertility and pregnancy and infant loss.

We also offer Free Reiki and Guided Fertility Meditation sessions throughout the year to help with stress reduction (one is going on now every Monday night in October: 2, 9, 16, 23, 30, 2017) Register here. All are welcome, no need to be a patient, but spots are limited so reserve yours soon.

Some parents may find comfort in creating a memorial or tribute for their lost child in the form of planting a tree, a memorial public or private garden, a scholarship fund, a charity foundation, and any number of other positive and beneficial acts. It is never too late to memorialize your baby when and if the time feels right. These resources are offered merely as starting points for consideration in finding help and support in the processing of unspeakable grief and loss.

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If you have suffered from pregnancy or infant loss, do you have any advice to share or any resources to recommend to help others?

* Long Island IVF has no affiliation with any of these jewelry or other merchandise sites and offers them for informational purposes only. Use your own discretion when considering making any purchase.

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Remembering 9/11 Sixteen Years Later

By Tracey Minella

September 11th, 2017 at 6:43 am

Credit: Pixabay/Ronile

 

I don’t think anything is more appropriate on this anniversary than to remember that day, so I’m sharing this classic.

 

You’ll always remember where you were that fateful day. And so will I.

 

I was working as a medical assistant for Long Island IVF. I was also a patient of Dr. Kreiner’s…and about 9 weeks pregnant with my son. Could life be any happier on a blindingly clear, crisp September morning?

 

It started out as a typical day, with the usual morning rush. Lots of busy women…many trying to get their blood and sono done so they cold hurry off to work. A few rushing to catch a train to the city. Men dropping off specimens on their way to the office. Some trying to catch a train to the city.

 

A train to the city.

 

By the time news of the second plane crash hit, most of the morning’s patients had already been seen and were gone. Disbelief was quickly followed by panic as we and the rest of the nation scrambled to figure out if our friends and family who worked in NYC were ok.  And what about our patients?

 

Doesn’t “So-and-So” work downtown? Isn’t “Mr. X” a trader on Wall Street? We spent the morning pouring over the employer info in the patients’ charts, making calls on jammed phone lines, and accounting for everyone’s whereabouts.  We went through the motions of the day on auto-pilot, glued to a 13” black and white TV in the nurse’s station, watching the horror unfold.

 

What kind of world was I bringing this baby into?

 

But just as there were stories of heroism, good deeds, and miracles amid the atrocity of the attacks, there was something positive that day in the Long Island IVF office.

 

A patient learned that, despite the chaos unfolding around her, it was indeed going to be her insemination day. When it’s your day, it’s your day. Not even an act of war will intervene. And 9/11 was to be her only day. One insemination. That afternoon. Amid the sadness and silence and sobs of the patient and everyone in the office.

 

And we came to learn a couple weeks later, that on the day the Twin Towers and the lives of so many innocent people were lost, we had participated in one ironically beautiful beginning. That patient got pregnant and had…twins.

 

Usually, it’s the patient who is thankful to the doctor and staff. But I will always be grateful to that patient for giving us one little happy something…well, actually two…to remember from that fateful day. And for being a sign to me that the world would go on, that we’d keep making babies, and that maybe it was going to be all right.

 

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You WILL Survive Your IVF Baby Leaving for College or Kindergarten

By Tracey Minella

September 6th, 2017 at 4:52 pm

 

T. Minella


By now, just about all college kids have checked in for the new school year. And the little ones started school yesterday and today on Long Island. So, all across the country there are moms and dads feeling the sting…or rather, the devastation…of saying good-bye to their babies.

But IVF parents have it worse. We love harder.

There, I said it.

It’s not that we are better parents (okay I’m lying because I think we kind of are better), but we love differently. That’s entirely because we faced the frightening reality of never becoming parents. We don’t take parenthood for granted. We worked for it. It’s something the fertile folks won’t ever understand and it doesn’t just disappear after the infertility battle is won. It’s a part of us and is always there. It often manifests itself in over-protectiveness and over-involvement. From triple-checking the baby is still breathing, to fearing sleepovers or letting others watch or drive our kids, to tracking their iPhones and monitoring their social media, the vigilant watch unfolds until one day…poof…they are gone.

First, it’s kindergarten, where you are handing them off to another adult for the better part of the day. It’s not all unicorns, rainbows, and “ready confetti”. Stressing over things like whether they will do well academically, make friends, eat alone, be included at recess, or get bullied is normal. Major stuff.

Blink and you will be dropping them off at the dorm—maybe in another state—and wondering where the heck all the years went? Wasn’t it just yesterday that life was all blood work and sonograms? How did it all fly by so fast? Did I do a good enough job? Is my job over? Are they prepared? How will I make until Parent’s Weekend or Thanksgiving without seeing my baby? I want a do-over!

So, here is the deal…

To the kindergarten parents: You will adjust. And you will be amazed at how your baby learns and grows and makes friends. They are ready, even if you are not. It will be fine. They will come home and tell you about their day at school and you will sit in wonder at this little person you created. And there will still be plenty of hours in the day to hover over them and teach them to navigate their new wonderful world. It’s going to be okay. I promise. (Still need to feel better? Read on for the college version.)

To the college freshman parents: You will adjust. True, when someone told me that a year ago as I sent my first IVF baby off to college in Virginia, I admit that I smiled and nodded politely but I secretly thought to myself “Nope, you’re an idiot.” (Look, those moments of “mom desperation” when your baby is moving 8 hours away can bring out the worst in us. Am I right?)

But really, somehow, life does go on without them home. I know it is unimaginable (and that you’re thinking I’m an idiot). It’s truly unthinkable. And the hole in your heart and life is so big, raw, and real right now. I get that completely. But as they start this next big phase on their own, you will marvel at their ability to juggle it all. Watch in pride as they begin “adulting” based on the foundation you gave them. The schoolwork, activities, eating, even the occasional laundry. All mostly on their own now. They will thrive in the place they feel they belong—which will become a second home to them in time as new friendships bloom.

But they will still need you and they will reach out for advice–and money– so look forward to those moments to come. And with your heart in your throat, keep on them (gently but firmly) about the parties and your expectations of them as they adjust to their newfound freedom. They’ll make the friends who will be their friends for life, and maybe even meet their soulmate. Look forward to seeing them at Parent’s Weekend. You will be amazed at how they’ve grown. And Thanksgiving will have a whole new meaning this year.

I’ve been in your shoes and I know you can do this. You are going to make it. Things are different and sad. Change is hard, but it can be good. And it will be good. Just maybe not today.

So, let them fly. (Really, let go of their foot.)

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With decades of miracles behind us, Long Island IVF parents have sent countless numbers of babies off to school (and some down the aisle!). Feel free to pics of your baby’s back-to-school pics.

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How to Support an Infertile Man on Father’s Day

By Tracey Minella

June 17th, 2017 at 9:06 am

 

image: tminella


Infertile “dads-in-waiting” are no different when it comes to being infertile on Father’s Day than infertile wannabe moms are on Mother’s Day.

They want a baby.

A daddy’s little girl around whose little finger to be proverbially wrapped. A “mini-me” son to hang out with.

But society doesn’t seem to see his pain… because he is quiet. Maybe even to his wife or partner.

Women are more likely to chat with their sisters or closest girlfriends about their infertility—they cry on each other’s shoulders and talk about treatment—but men just don’t really do that. They don’t open up like that. Women talk. But guys’ group conversations tend to gravitate towards sports or politics—not how they injected their wife with a two-inch needle last night or held her as she cried over another negative pregnancy test.

Many men think they have to be the strong one– because if she sees him crumble, she may unravel herself. How unfair is that? Yet that’s how it is for so many guys and it’s completely understandable, and yes, a bit sexist, how they are willing to take all the pain on their shoulders if it’d shelter her.

Imagine that pressure to be strong and not cry? Imagine the totally unfounded but very real guilt he may feel if the diagnosis is male factor infertility? Or the stress he’s under if they can’t afford infertility treatment because his insurance or his salary doesn’t cover it? Or how he’s keeping the secret and hoping the guys don’t find out and rag on him about specimen collection or awkwardly joke about how they can help get her pregnant.

And don’t think for a minute he’s not aware of the children of other men at the gathering. Especially on Father’s Day. Kids playing catch with their dads. Dads showing pictures from the dance recital.

If his relationship with his own father is a good one, it may help to spend some one-on-one together on Father’s Day focusing on his role as the son. Maybe reflect on what kind of father he plans to be when the time comes for him—what he loved about his dad’s parenting style and what he might do differently.

Most importantly, let him do what he wants. See or be with who he wants and be sure to run interference for him with difficult people when you can. If he wants to be around the nieces or nephews, indulge his wish even if you feel differently. Or be alone together—or let him do his own thing–if that’s what he needs for that day.

And don’t ask him about starting a family. Just don’t. Ever. Especially on Father’s Day.

There is no substitution for a baby on Father’s Day, but you can give him hope for one next year. And if you think he’d benefit from talking it out with a caring infertility specialist, Long Island IVF offers group and individual counseling. Some couples have found a special connection to others who understand what they are going through and have even remained friends after their infertility journeys have resolved.

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What are your plans for Father’s Day?

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