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Archive for the ‘adopt an embryo’ tag

“Why Don’t You Just Adopt?”

By Tracey Minella

November 15th, 2014 at 12:28 pm

 

 

credit: David castillo dominici/ freedigitalphtos.net


Someone somewhere has or will ask you this question. As if it’s that simple. As if it’s their business.

November isn’t only the month of Thanksgiving, the official kick-off to the holiday season. It’s also National Adoption Awareness Month. The photos of orphaned children awaiting their forever families tug on our hearts. Without doubt, adopting a child is one of the most generous, selfless, loving things a couple can do.

But it’s not for everyone. And even for those who are open to the possibility of adoption, it often takes some time to come around to and embrace the idea.

And that’s okay.

While plenty of people…fertile or not… choose adoption right off the bat, many infertile people want to try to have a biological child before considering adoption. It’s natural to want a baby with daddy’s eyes or mommy’s musical talent…it’s natural for a woman to want to experience the joys of pregnancy and childbirth. Asking this question not only discounts those feelings and dreams, but also throws in a heap of unwelcome guilt. How could we be so selfish to want a child “of our own” when there are already children waiting?

Don’t feel guilty for wanting to exhaust all options of having a baby genetically tied to you before considering other choices like adoption or remaining childless. Each infertility journey is different and the fantasies we initially have of how our journey will play out get molded by our experiences, and evolve with each setback, failed cycle, or loss. Marriages are tested. Financial, physical, and emotional factors must be considered. Often, time and these experiences make people realize that they want more than anything to have a baby to love, and they may soften to the idea that genetic ties are not a priority. But it takes time for many to come to that realization. And it involves working through many issues and letting go of other dreams, which can be hard. And this can’t be rushed. Again, adoption is not for everyone.

In the spirit of keeping an open mind about the process, there is an option for family-building that many couples are not aware of and it’s offered at Long Island IVF. It’s called Embryo Donation. Often mistakenly referred to as embryo adoption, Embryo Donation allows infertile couples to acquire and use the excess frozen embryos created by another couple who’ve completed their own family and prefer to donate rather than use or discard their frozen embryos.

The recipient couple then simply proceeds with the thawing and transfer of these embryos as if they were originally their own. There may even be enough embryos to have more than one pregnancy. Though these children don’t share your genes, you get to experience childbirth and are in control of the pregnancy.

The cost of Embryo Donation is a fraction of traditional IVF as the embryos are donated and there is no need for stimulation and retrieval as in traditional IVF. Medications and monitoring are minimal, keeping costs low. For more information about Long Island IVF’s Embryo Donation Program, please contact the Donor Program Coordinator, Vicky Loveland, or click here: http://bit.ly/1CaZwfS

Let your personal journey to parenthood unfold as it’s destined to. Contrary to how it may feel sometimes, the infertility journey won’t last forever. Your heart will lead you to the child you’re meant to parent, whether biological, adopted, or otherwise.  And when you arrive there, you will feel that this was exactly as it was meant to be.

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Have you adopted, or would you consider adopting if you can’t get pregnant? What do you say when someone asks “Why don’t you just adopt?”

 

 

 

 

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