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Archive for the ‘Father’s Day’ tag

The “Make Us Gasp” Contest Winners Are…

By Tracey Minella

June 30th, 2011 at 1:44 am

Well, this sure was a tough contest to call!

There were so many absolutely jaw-dropping comments that it was all we could do to refrain from hunting down the morons who uttered them and hurting them on your behalf! But in the interest of a civilized society, we held back and hope that karma does it thing.

The five (5) winners will each receive the Invisible Loss CD and a VISA gift card. In addition, they (along with the winners from the April and August contest) will be eligible to win the Grand Prize of a free Micro-IVF cycle, which will be announced on Labor Day!

I’d like to thank everyone who entered. All of your comments were “gasp-worthy”. And they inspired great, supportive dialog here on the blog and on facebook…which is wonderful to see. We’re developing a nice community here and are so glad you are a part of it.

Please remember we have another, different contest coming in the beginning of August, with more winners to crown. It’s going to be our biggest one yet and will be a great, creative challenge for all of you. And as soon as that one’s over, we’ll be announcing the winner of the Grand Prize on Labor Day!

And I have yet another awesome contest in mind to take us into the winter. But I can’t reveal it since I haven’t told Dr. Kreiner just yet. But, hey, I know he’ll be on board with it! Oh, the secret is killing me!

Anyway, enough of all that. You’re here to see who won, right? Well, here are the 5 winning entries (in no particular order and in different font sizes depending on what forum their entry was submitted in), who finished the statement: “THE MOST SHOCKING THING ANYONE EVER SAID TO ME ON MOTHER’S/FATHER’S DAY WAS…”

Jen T


Danny Mack

Stacie Penny

Jenni B

Clerk on Mothers Day –
 Clerk:  No kids? Well, they say the problems in this life are a direct result of our actions from a previous life.
Me: …Great, I feel better knowing I’m to blame.  Does that explanation make you feel better about your inability to think before you speak?

As a pre-K teacher, I was hosting a mother’s day workshop.   I was given the pity eyes and told “Imirtz Hashem” by you, at the right time but very soon!”  (Imirtz Hashem being translated from Hebrew to English as G-d’s will.)   Now here comes the shocker, another parent saw I felt embarrassed and said to me, “I think you should give her the same “chizuk” (inspiring words), umm the next time you happen to see her at funeral!!!”

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The most shocking thing anyone ever told me on Father’s Day was, "Why should I wish YOU a happy Father’s Day? They’re not your REAL kids, you’re only a STEP Father!"  …and no, I never spoke to him again… 

Thanks for the therapy session. I haven’t told many people about that….although HE should be the one embarassed, not me.

"…You have rotten eggs anyways!…" WTH?!?!

The worst thing anyone has ever said to me on Mother’s Day… as I was hosting 40 people for Mother’s Day dinner my sister in law told me how it must be nice to have so much time on your hands to do what I want to do and how she has to prep everything once her four kids go to sleep.

Anyone who won needs to contact Lindsay by email at to claim your prizes. In our last contest, one winner failed to follow the rules regarding timely claiming her prizes and another winner was chosen in her place!

Thanks again to all who entered and to all who help make this blog the supportive place it is. Please watch for new contests and feel free to suggest topics for future posts. This is your space.

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Last but not least, I always do something special on the last day of the month for the guys, but this month I had to do it a day sooner. But it sure was special…I got you guys hooked up with a guilt-free GNO (guys night out!) Well, it won’t be a man-cave thing, but I promise you’ll love it! I feel the testosterone in the air already!

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The Injustice of Infertility

By Tracey Minella

June 21st, 2011 at 12:00 am

Imagine the best dad ever. Maybe he’s yours. Maybe you’re lucky and he’s still here to share Father’s Day with. Maybe you just have the memories.

I have the memories, having lost my dad 15 years ago.

And I have a wonderful Father-in-law who has been critically ill for 3 weeks in an ICU. Sunday was Father’s Day and yesterday was his birthday. For a good week, it didn’t look like we’d still have him. Every day is still a gift.

So, I’ve done a lot of thinking about how wrong it is that such a good man should be in this position. I’m convinced that when his time comes, the only thing that would stand between him and sainthood would be the failure to perform a miracle.

He has always taken care of others and sacrificed without complaint. He is always supportive and loving and patient and kind. He never curses and never gives advice unless asked. He is the perfect father and grandfather and friend. He was our rock when were suffering from infertility. He’s one of those optimists. And he smiles and whistles in the morning. He should live to be 120. Then live another 10 years after that because the world is simply a better place with him in it…even with the whistling.

So it’s just wrong that he… such an amazing father… should be so close to dying. Or that any other amazing father should be in a similar spot or should die leaving young children behind.

And then I think about all the hopeful fathers-to-be out there. Maybe your husband is one of them. I know mine was for many years.

Where is the justice in the world?

Why is it that these wonderful men are delayed or denied their chance to be dads when others, many being less qualified or deserving, get women pregnant easily or even unintentionally?  Why are the dads that would take nothing for granted screwed out of fatherhood? Dads who’d have teas parties and cry at their girl’s recital. Fathers who’d coach little league and suffer over homework with their sons. It doesn’t help that we just passed another Father’s Day…

I’m not naïve. I know too well that death and infertility are realities of life. But sometimes…more than others…it’s too much to bear. I’m not asking for rainbows and unicorns, but is some semblance of a normal life too much to ask?

And as if living in our situation is not hard enough to take, must we be surrounded by morons who make us feel even worse about the hand we’ve been dealt?

If you haven’t already done so, enter ECF’s free micro-IVF contest by sharing the worst infertility-related comment ever made to you by an insensitive jerk. Click here:


Think of it this way: Your baby may be a few clicks away.

Or we can just call it “justice”.

Hang in there, Dad. (And you too, dads-to-be.)

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7 Tips to Survive Father’s Day When You’re Infertile

By Tracey Minella

June 17th, 2011 at 12:14 am

We don’t always remember that wanna-be dads are hurting on Father’s Day the way we acknowledge the pain of wanna-be moms. So here’s seven suggestions to help the guys this weekend:

1.  Honor Your Father: If you are lucky enough to still have your father and are close enough geographically, be sure to visit him on Sunday. Sometimes you can get distracted by your own pain and your quest for fatherhood and take your dad being there for granted. Don’t do that. You never know if he will be here next year. And if visiting isn’t possible, be sure to call. Share a favorite memory from childhood. You’ll be glad you did.

2.  Get Proactive:  What can you do today that will help your fertility? Those tight briefs aren’t helping. Switch to boxers. Been meaning to quit smoking, stop drinking, or lose weight? Well, there’s no time like now. How about a long walk for exercise and clearing your mind? Any step you take to live healthier will make you feel better…even on Father’s Day.

3. Consider Charity:  Sometimes helping others less fortunate than we are makes us feel better about our plight and puts things in perspective. Trying to avoid the family barbeque with your 17 nieces and nephews and your 4 pregnant sisters? Why not help at a soup kitchen on Sunday? Or bring some school supplies or toys to a children’s shelter? Good karma never hurts.

4.  Pull the Plug on Procrastination:  What have you put off doing that might be delaying your fertility plan? Is there lab work or other testing you haven’t done? Have you put off the dentist or a medical check-up? Do you need to make vacation time arrangements at work so you can do IVF? And how many times have you tried to tackle the health insurance issues only to put the paperwork down again?

5. Take Care of You:  No one’s feelings are more important than yours and your partner’s. Don’t put yourself in a vulnerable position on Sunday (or any day). Avoid people you know will likely upset you, whether intentionally or unintentionally. You must protect yourself.

6.  Positive Imagery:  Take some time alone to remind yourself of your good qualities and the reasons you are going to make a great father someday. Envision it but don’t dwell to the point of sadness. Write down 3 reasons why you will be superdad someday. Trust that it will be.


7. Enter Our Free Micro-IVF Contest:  If you blew off suggestion #5 and somehow found yourself in the company of a moron who said the most shocking and insensitive thing to you (or your partner) about being infertile, turn those lemons into lemonade! Enter the comment in our June contest and you could win one of 5 great prize packages, plus each of the 5 winners becomes eligible to win the Grand Prize of a free Micro-IVF cycle valued at $3,900.00!! Just go to the June 6th blog post right here on the fertility daily or on ECF’s facebook page from June 6th . It’s so quick and easy!

Last year’s contest winner and her husband are celebrating their first Father’s Day on Sunday. Will YOU celebrate yours next year? Why not increase your chances? (You don’t have to use your real name if you prefer anonymity.)

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A Father’s Day Fertility Message

By Bina Benisch, M.s.,r.n.

June 14th, 2011 at 12:00 am

As Father’s Day is looming near, couples struggling with fertility once again may experience the quiet rumbles of impending anxiety – wondering how they will cope surrounded by another celebration of parenthood while they remain feeling empty as a family. 

Women often express the dreaded anticipation of the emotional beating they experience during holidays and family gatherings, where seemingly innocuous remarks about parenthood are felt like a blow to their hearts. 

But how do the men in their lives feel?

Infertility may raise feelings of frustration, self-doubt, inadequacy, and isolation – and Father’s Day can intensify these feelings.  Does your partner open up about his feelings? Is he aware of them? If so, mutual compassion and communication can strengthen the bond of your relationship.

I often hear the frustration of men who attempt to be supportive and sensitive to their partner’s feelings, yet whatever he says or does seems wrong…. and even worse, he feels powerless to help his wife or the situation.  Ouch. 

Take a step back for a moment, and imagine how the feeling of emotional powerlessness is amplified in the mind and heart of a person struggling with infertility – mirroring the physical failure of infertility.  Even if the fertility issue is a female factor, the male partner is often left feeling bereft in terms of how to cope with supporting his wife.  These feelings are often multilayered and multifaceted.  The emotions are a mixed bag, and clarity is elusive.  This may manifest as verbalizing words that simply reflect frustration, anger, and emotional withdrawal.

Men often feel used for their sperm, and sexual intimacy is no longer an intimate expression, but a duty performed only for fertilization.  Unfortunately, infertility can drain all the spark, chemistry, sexual, and emotional attraction from a relationship. Awareness of these issues, along with the will to overcome them, empowers your relationship to not only survive this crisis, but become even more connected as a couple.

This Father’s Day, try giving a gift to the man you love, the man who would like to become a father.  Perhaps the gift is appreciating his value and support in whatever unique way he demonstrates it.  Perhaps the gift is accepting his perspective on fertility, even if that perspective differs from yours. 

The gift may even be as simple as letting him know that you love him unconditionally – irrespective of needing him for sperm or conception. 

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Are you planning on doing anything special to help your man through the day?



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