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Archive for the ‘infertility and halloween’ tag

Halloween is Like a Cavity for Infertiles

By Tracey Minella

October 31st, 2017 at 8:10 am


Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at

There is no sugar coating the fact that Halloween is a rough one. Maybe the roughest of all. Sort of like a cavity that grows more painful as the long day drags on. And the fact that it’s not a weekend and won’t kick in until after school is no real consolation—especially since Halloween has become a week-long event of local parades, festivals, and multiple parties. As anyone who has experienced it knows, there are few things more painful than dental pain…except of course infertility.

So, if you can’t access some Novocain to numb the pain of the day, what do you do?

Halloween has always been the one universal children’s holiday…celebrated by all children. We all remember Halloween fondly, the costumes, the candy, the parties, the doorbells. The sugar-rush, shaving cream fights, and the eggs… for you rebels out there. Bolting from house to house for hours, until our feet dragged from the weight of a pillowcase that rivaled Santa’s sack. Parents watching from the curb.

Just one more house.

Halloween is literally the most “in-your-face” holiday. It’s an onslaught far worse than Christmas or Hanukah… where you only have to deal with the kids in your immediate families. Today, the little devils are everywhere. All day and night. In the streets and at your door. You can’t hide.

Childhood memories of Halloween make us want to be kids again. And simultaneously makes us want to have our own so they can experience the same wonder. We want to be the one at the curb today, the one who checks the bags for safety, the one posting 102 pictures to Facebook. We want to go to a “trunk or treat” event and safe Halloween outings at local schools or host our own kiddie party.

Waiting is like a little pirate’s plastic dagger in the heart.

Another year that the dream of dressing up a little boy or girl in the perfect costume hasn’t come true. Some of us may have already bought that tiny pea pod costume in a moment of weakness…or hope.

Novocain, where are you?

Do whatever it takes to get you through the day. Stay off social media. Maybe seeing the kids helps you somehow and if so, then drink in as much hope as they bring you for the future. But if answering the door 372 times feels like a dentist’s drill to the heart, then just lower the lights, put a bowl of treats out, and retire early… with a bag (or two) of your own favorite candy. Because sometimes, Milky Way is the only way.

A cavity, like infertility, takes time to develop… and hurts like hell. But they both eventually do get resolved. And more often than not, in a good way.

So, here’s hoping your Halloween isn’t as painful as a root canal… and that you’ll be flashing a big, bright and pain-free smile before the next one rolls around. Pea pod in tow.

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How do/did you handle Halloween when infertile?


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Nightmare on Infertility Street: 3 Halloween Survival Tips

By Tracey Minella

October 31st, 2013 at 6:48 am


photo: debspoons/

Forget Nightmare on Elm Street. It’s nightmare on every street today.

Halloween isn’t one of those holidays that force you to put on a happy face at the dinner table while a dozen nagging and insensitive extended family members drone on and on with their basically useless advice on how you can conceive. Oh, no. Halloween is not like that at all. It’s so much worse.

When you are infertile, Halloween can be your worst nightmare. Literally. Instead of the handful of adorable children you might encounter on a regular day, each tugging at your heartstrings, Halloween multiplies that heartache about 300 times. Til your heart bleeds.

It’s like living in a horror movie. There is no escape from the onslaught as the doorbell rings. And rings. And rings. Each time you open it, your shaky psyche is confronted by scores of goblins and princesses yelling “trick or treat”. Two conflicting… and equally inappropriate… impulses may surface as you’re torn between wanting to snatch up a cutie for yourself and wanting to slam the door in their little faces. And then just as you turn away having resisted those impulses, you spy another pack of children at the mailbox.

If you’re in the majority and are having a hard time on Halloween, consider these three survival tips.

1. Go out. Get dinner in a restaurant and go to an R-rated movie. Great way to avoid kids. But be sure to leave a bowl of candy out so the little monsters don’t egg your house.

2. Hide inside. Leave the candy bowl outside with a “Take One” sign so they won’t ring the bell. Keep the lights off and watch TV… or whatever… in the dark.

3. Indulge your mean side. Hide in a bush after dark and scare the living daylights out of them! But then you’ve really got to give them some candy. Unless you’re really mean…

Of course, some of you can emotionally handle Halloween. Maybe even enjoy it. And that’s great. While you’re happily dolling out the Snickers and imagining what costume your future baby will wear, the rest of us will be silently judging the lamest costumes, scarfing down Twix, and leaving out a bowl of the ever-popular Mary Janes.

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How do you handle Halloween?


Photo credit: debspoons /


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6 Halloween Survival Tips for Infertile Folks

By Tracey Minella

October 28th, 2011 at 3:27 pm

Face it. Halloween without kids…well, bites. And I don’t mean in the neck.

Most of the fertile world misses the boat completely when it comes to sensitivity to our feelings on the holidays.

If we’re really lucky, we get some compassion for Mother’s and Father’s Days…sometimes for Christmas. Thanksgiving and New Year’s? Not really.

Halloween? Fuggedaboutit!

If you’re dreading facing Halloween without a baby dressed like a pea pod, here are some tips to get through the haunted happenings:

  1. Give yourself permission to be depressed, mad, or whatever it is you’re feeling. You don’t have to fake it for anyone. If you are open about your infertility journey, let people know it’s a hard day for you. This is one of those holidays fertile folks are usually clueless about when it comes to how bad we feel.

  1. If 85 bags of candy are not in the budget because you’re saving for fertility treatments, don’t sweat it. Turn the lights down low and pretend you’re not home. What you do in the dark is your business!

  1. If you want to give out treats, but can’t take the heartbreak each time a pack of princesses or ninjas come knocking, leave a big bowl with a “Please Take One” sign outside your door and let them help themselves.

  1. You want children and are still waiting. Why not spend the holiday brightening the day of children who are waiting for parents, or who can’t afford to celebrate Halloween? Contact your local social services department or place of worship and see if there is an orphanage or homeless shelter that could use some candy.

  1. Attend…or host…a “grownups only” Halloween party or dinner. Nothing will cheer you up faster than mummy dogs (hot dogs wrapped and baked in breadstick dough) and jello molds of brains and hearts. (Don’t forget the spiked witch’s brew!) Or go to a spooky play or movie.

  1. If you feel too guilty to do any of the above and are determined to face the parade of masked cherubs, then remember this… your day of ringing doorbells with Buzz Lightyear or Belle in tow is coming.

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How do you get through Halloween? Any tips or traditions?

For those who finally did have their babies….please share your best Halloween pics with us on our Facebook page at!/ecfertility. (Feel free to LIKE our page while you’re there, and then tell all your friends and family to come see your baby’s picture on our Facebook page!)

Or, you can email them to Your success may encourage others.

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