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Archive for the ‘infertility frustration’ tag

Infertility and Twisted Thoughts

By Tracey Minella

June 7th, 2013 at 9:52 pm

 

image courtesy of freedigital photos.net

Do you ever wonder if other infertile women think the way you do? I’m talking about those really crazy, twisted thoughts we sometimes feel. The ones we don’t speak out loud.

You know the ones.

The thoughts that would prompt a knowing nod (or howls of laughter) from other infertiles…and condemnation from the rest of society. 

On your lowest days, could you relate to any of these scenarios (tongue-in-cheek, of course!):

·         Tell me you haven’t imagined peeling the stick figure families off those minivans? Would you spare the pets or just leave the couple standing alone?

·         Do you always call out to the mother when you see a kid’s “binky” go missing in a public place? Or do you sometimes let the inattentive mom learn a lesson?

·         Ever bought a sort of ugly baby outfit…or a Diaper genie… for a baby or shower gift because the thought of 235+ dirty diapers crammed into the nursery corner would bring you a shred of comfort during an unbearably painful event?

·         Have you ever been in such a bad mood that, instead of mustering a smile, you actually kind of “stared down” a baby when its mom wasn’t looking…and it cried? And you didn’t feel guilty?

·         Ever want to (or actually) “unfriend” someone on Facebook for posting too many pregnancy updates, maternity photos, or baby pictures?

If you related to any of the above scenarios…or have your own list…it doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you human. Occasional jealous or angry thoughts are common when you’re infertile.

But if the ache of empty arms or the depression and frustration of infertility is significantly interfering with your ability to get through your daily responsibilities, you may need a little help coping. Consider an infertility support group led by peers or professionals.

Anyone interested in Long Island IVF’s professionally-run support groups and counseling sessions should contact Bina Benisch, M.S., R.N. at binabenisch@gmail.com. Bina counsels both women and men in separate support groups as they navigate their infertility journeys. All are welcome to join, even if you are not yet a Long Island IVF patient. You can read more about Long Island IVF’s Mind-Body Program and counseling services here. http://bit.ly/16Kn5go

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Did you ever think any of the above thoughts? Or do you have others to share? Have you tried Bina’s support groups, and if so, what did you think?

Photo Credit: Stuart Miles and http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/Younger_Women_g57-Young_Girl_Thinking_p54803.html

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“This is Your Captain Speaking…”

By David Kreiner, MD

August 10th, 2011 at 8:30 am

"Scuza,scuza , Signore e signori we are experiencing technical difficulties…”

While I sit uncomfortably detained aboard an Al Italia jet on the tarmac at the Sicilian airport waiting for the mechanics to determine if they can repair the mechanical troubles, my mind drifts to the plight my patients experience while they go through their fertility treatments.

Frustrated, with no control over my situation I reflected upon what it must feel like for my patients who must place their trust in people more experienced than them who routinely deal with those issues that are so significantly impacting them.  

Like my pilots and their support staff, the fertility doctors, nurses and their staff have dealt with problems identical to or extremely similar to the ones my patients face on a daily basis. As such I felt that I should trust that the pilots and maintenance staff would only proceed with the flight once they were assured the problem was satisfactorily repaired and that the plane was safe.

However, I figured that if we were to be delayed for takeoff that I could take out my IPad and make myself more comfortable during the wait. Immediately, I heard from the flight attendant, in angry Italian, scolding me to turn off my electronics.  Actually, I did not understand but several other passengers quickly added in English to shut off my IPad.   Did I not hear the prior instruction to turn off the electronics?  

I did not understand the reasoning behind this as we were obviously delayed for takeoff. I was frustrated with my lack of control and understanding.  I would have felt more comfortable if I understood what was going on and even better if I were able to participate in the process in some way.  

I am sure that my patients must also have this great desire to understand and obtain some control.  I believe that many do… often by gaining more knowledge on the subject through the Internet, our orientation sessions, and directly through questioning the doctors and nurses.

The fact was for me I had no knowledge on our problem with the plane and was therefore utterly helpless other than to offer my complete cooperation.  My patients on the other hand do have opportunities to attain some control and an ability to assist on their own behalf achieving their goal of a pregnancy.

What can patients do to improve their success?  

Listening carefully to instructions and following them religiously such as obtaining and administering medications, regarding dosages and times is essential.  It is important to their ultimate success if they arrive to monitoring visits, retrievals and transfers at stated times.  Patients’ responses to medications vary over time and are considered when their doctors interpret their hormone levels.  The egg matures over the course of time passed from the Hcg shot but if this time is extended too long a patient may ovulate before the retrieval is performed and the egg is lost.

How else can patients improve their outcome?  

Studies have shown that stress reduction through support groups, mind body programs, massage and especially acupuncture improve success rates essentially by improving a body’s ability to respond in a healthy fashion to the fertility process.

As my reflections on the unique ability of my patients to impact their fertility were now complete and committed to paper (my IPad safely turned off and stowed away), over an hour later we finally pulled away from the gate and safely took flight.  One hour later we landed in Rome, excited to move on to the next leg of our trip. I thought as I reflected on my successful journey how I wished for my patients to be as successful in theirs.

Yet as we are about to deplane, I hear “Signore e signori I am very sorry…” the pilot announced that the bus transportation to the gate had not yet arrived and it would be another short while.

“I apologize for the inconvenience”.  Yes, this is very familiar.

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