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Archive for the ‘infertility humor’ tag

Favorite Infertility Injection Stories

By Tracey Minella

July 2nd, 2013 at 9:51 pm

 

image courtesy of sakhorn 38/freedigitalphotos.net

The hardest part of the initiation into the “Infertility Injectables Sorority” is… well… the injectables. Once you’ve moved on from popping Clomid, there’s no other way to nudge your ovaries into high gear without facing a needle…or…”about facing” a needle, to be more accurate.

You’ve got your little needles. And then you’ve got your big guns. Determining who the injector will be is as easy as… seeing who doesn’t pass out at injection-teaching. Seriously, more often than not, one partner injects the other. But some women inject themselves. It’s good to be prepared to do that, because life is never predicable, right? Overtime, traffic, surprise visitors, flat tires, poorly-timed wedding receptions…all conspire to de-rail the planned “window of injectability”.

I have countless crazy injectable stories from 3 IUIs and 7 fresh IVFs. I will save my self-injecting IM to the thigh story for another time. But I’ll share this favorite one now.

As a pre-requisite to acceptance into an intended P.A. program, I was taking an evening college biology course during an IVF cycle and… wouldn’t ya know it…it fell smack in my “injectability window”. So, I figured I’d better tell the professor what I was doing. Never know when slinking off to the bathroom with syringes and vials of white powder every night might raise an eyebrow.

Then, Lupron gave way to the big guns…the IM injections. More explaining to do. Foggy windows in the parking lot where my husband the designated injector met me for the nightly ritual. We were like spies with synchronized watches in the pre cell phone days.

Finally… the final. Yeah, sorry but that’s the night of my hCG shot and I am NOT doing that precisely-timed, majorly-important shot in the backseat. I’ll need a make-up exam, please.

The professor was very understanding. I got an A- from him, missing the A by a mere nano fraction of a point. I lost my passionate but good-natured argument for a rounding up to compensate for points lost for “Lupron brain”. On top of all that, I did not get pregnant that cycle.

Fast forward about two years to me working part time as a hospital phlebotomist (another pre-requisite: 500 hours of actual patient care experience). One afternoon, I walked into a patient’s room, with my cheery greeting preceding me. As I rounded the edge of the curtain, he was sitting in the bed. I wonder if he recognizes me.

I moved to his bedside, checked his wristband, and laid out my blood-drawing tools. As I wrapped the tourniquet around his arm, I looked up with a smile and our eyes met. At that moment, I knew our minds met as well.

“Bet you’re wishing you gave me that “A” right about now, huh?” I whispered.

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What’s your favorite injection story?

 

Photo credit: sakhorn38 and  http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/agree-terms.php?id=100163051

 

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Infertility and Twisted Thoughts

By Tracey Minella

June 7th, 2013 at 9:52 pm

 

image courtesy of freedigital photos.net

Do you ever wonder if other infertile women think the way you do? I’m talking about those really crazy, twisted thoughts we sometimes feel. The ones we don’t speak out loud.

You know the ones.

The thoughts that would prompt a knowing nod (or howls of laughter) from other infertiles…and condemnation from the rest of society. 

On your lowest days, could you relate to any of these scenarios (tongue-in-cheek, of course!):

·         Tell me you haven’t imagined peeling the stick figure families off those minivans? Would you spare the pets or just leave the couple standing alone?

·         Do you always call out to the mother when you see a kid’s “binky” go missing in a public place? Or do you sometimes let the inattentive mom learn a lesson?

·         Ever bought a sort of ugly baby outfit…or a Diaper genie… for a baby or shower gift because the thought of 235+ dirty diapers crammed into the nursery corner would bring you a shred of comfort during an unbearably painful event?

·         Have you ever been in such a bad mood that, instead of mustering a smile, you actually kind of “stared down” a baby when its mom wasn’t looking…and it cried? And you didn’t feel guilty?

·         Ever want to (or actually) “unfriend” someone on Facebook for posting too many pregnancy updates, maternity photos, or baby pictures?

If you related to any of the above scenarios…or have your own list…it doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you human. Occasional jealous or angry thoughts are common when you’re infertile.

But if the ache of empty arms or the depression and frustration of infertility is significantly interfering with your ability to get through your daily responsibilities, you may need a little help coping. Consider an infertility support group led by peers or professionals.

Anyone interested in Long Island IVF’s professionally-run support groups and counseling sessions should contact Bina Benisch, M.S., R.N. at binabenisch@gmail.com. Bina counsels both women and men in separate support groups as they navigate their infertility journeys. All are welcome to join, even if you are not yet a Long Island IVF patient. You can read more about Long Island IVF’s Mind-Body Program and counseling services here. http://bit.ly/16Kn5go

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Did you ever think any of the above thoughts? Or do you have others to share? Have you tried Bina’s support groups, and if so, what did you think?

Photo Credit: Stuart Miles and http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/Younger_Women_g57-Young_Girl_Thinking_p54803.html

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