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Archive for the ‘Infertility Support’ tag

Surviving Mother’s Day When Infertile

By Tracey Minella

May 12th, 2018 at 9:44 pm

image courtesy of witthaya phonsawat at freedigitalphotos.net

Surviving Mother’s Day when struggling with infertility is the pits. No way to sugarcoat it. Mother’s Day is the hardest day of the year for those longing to be mothers.

So, what are you going to do this year?

If you have a close relationship with your own mother and she is still living, she might be able to cheer you up a bit. But even she won’t be able to make it “all better” like she used to. It’s just not that simple. And if she’s gone, that’s a really black hole—it’s so hard to be both motherless and childless on Mother’s Day and living with the unsettled feeling of having no connection to a parent or a child.

Of course, being in the company of a mother or mother-in-law who pushes your “baby buttons” isn’t a picnic either.

And being a mother who has suffered a miscarriage, stillbirth, or other infant or child loss is an unspeakable pain only those strong women will ever understand. If you know one of them, resist the urge to avoid what feels awkward and mention her lost angel by name–it will help her in some small way to know her baby hasn’t been forgotten.

On the hardest day of the year, it’s important to do whatever you want and not to be guilted, shamed, or coerced to be in the company of people who will make the day even a drop harder on your hurting heart.

Whether you’re a mother through resolving your infertility journey, a bereaved mother, a mother-to-be, or a mother-in-waiting, you ARE a mother. The day is yours; mark the day as you see fit.

One nice idea might be to plant a tree or a garden dedicated to your child or future child. Something you could watch grow over the years. Something you could explain the significance of to any future children and use as a backdrop for those milestone pictures they grow.

Here’s a mind trick for the day, or for any day: If you are currently on an infertility journey, believe you will ultimately have a happy resolution – – not because it’s guaranteed, but because it’s very possible and positivity can only help.

This is tough advice and it isn’t meant for Mother’s Day but try not to let your sadness and frustration keep you from enjoying some moments of the present. Because the future is coming and regardless of how your journey ends, you can’t get this time back. And you may look back and have regrets on how your life was “on hold” for so long, wishing you only knew back then that it was eventually going to work out somehow. So, trust that the future will be bright and make the best of these times. Hopefully, you will be right. And hopefully, next Mother’s Day will be different.

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Happy National Nurses Week to Our Long Island IVF Nurses

By Tracey Minella

May 7th, 2018 at 7:39 am

image courtesy of imagerymajestic at freedigitalphotos.net

Oh, the nurses. As National Nurses Week begins, we should stop for a moment and ask ourselves: Where would we will be without our Long Island IVF nurses?

Our nurses do it all – – and then some. They are the liaison between you and your doctor and they are charged with keeping all the details of your treatment cycle on track. But then they go the extra mile because they know the importance of what you’re going through and want to help you get to the goal.

Our nurses understand you are more than a chart, more than a patient–you’re a person who wants to be a parent and you need their help to get there. Or you have a child, but need help to give them a sibling. Because some of our nurses were once Long Island IVF patients themselves, they really do understand the highs and lows of the infertility treatment experience. So, they have your back, they’re on your team. They’ll lend their shoulders, dry your tears, and celebrate your successes.

Long Island IVF nurses have a special calling for this mission. Playing a part big part in helping their patients’ dreams of becoming mothers and fathers come true is amazingly fulfilling work. They love what they do and it shows. Nothing makes them happier than seeing newly-pregnant patients return to their ObGyns with an ultrasound photo in hand…except when they come back to the office to show off their little miracles.

Is there a particular Long Island IVF nurse or nurse practitioner that comes to mind as you’re reading this? Are you smiling as you think of her? If so, consider a shout out to let her know she’s made a difference in your life. It would make her day.

Long Island IVF wishes all of our caring and compassionate nurses a wonderful National Nurses Week. We couldn’t do it without you—nor would we want to try.

 

 

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Goodbye Shame: Losing the Stigma of Infertility Workshop

By Tracey Minella

May 3rd, 2018 at 2:20 pm

Let’s talk about the stress, shame, and stigma of infertility. No, really, let’s talk about it.

When a couple cannot conceive without assisted reproductive technology, they often feel guilt and shame. Society sends a message that procreation should happen without assisted reproductive technology. And those who can’t get pregnant the old-fashioned way often feel like failures. Their shame often forces them to suffer in silence, hoping this month will be the month. Hoping no one will ever have to know they had a problem conceiving.

Overwhelmed, many infertile couples throw themselves into their treatment. They go through the hectic schedule of sonograms, lab work, and injections. They deal with the financial burdens, the insurance headaches, and the job stress. But they don’t realize that keeping the secret and the toll it places on their mind and body may be detrimental. And nobody needs another obstacle to conceiving.

The stigma of infertility is real. It is completely unwarranted, of course, but that doesn’t change the fact that it exists in society and it impacts countless infertile couples who are struggling on so many levels: physically, mentally, financially, emotionally, and socially.

Unburden yourself tonight. Long Island IVF is offering a free workshop hosted by our infertility specialist counselor Bina Benisch, MS, RN in our Melville office on “Losing the Stigma of Infertility”. All are welcome, no need to be a patient to attend. Preregister here.

Past attendees often say they were a bit hesitant to come in but were so happy they took the chance. There’s never any pressure to join the discussion.

Imagine being in a room with a small group of people who are struggling and feeling so much of what you are going through right now. The in-law pressures, juggling work and treatment, the endless baby showers, the jealousy and fear and frustration. Imagine being with others who also only have each other to confide in, but now having the chance to unload—the chance to process those emotions and unburden yourself with the help of a caring specialist. What an amazing opportunity for healing. In fact, many past attendees were so comfortable by the end of the session that they stayed connected and lasting friendships were formed.

Nobody understands. Nobody other than those who are walking in your stirrups and the skilled professionals who help you along the way.

Let’s heal tonight. Please join us for a transformative experience.

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Long Island IVF Nutrition for Fertility Workshop

By Tracey Minella

April 19th, 2018 at 8:11 am

 

Drive right past those golden arches and get yourself over to Long Island IVF for a fun, free event on “Nutrition for Fertility” on Tuesday, April 24 at 6:30 PM. Learn how nutrition impacts fertility and find out how your diet may be sabotaging your ability to conceive.

Register here for this nutrition event and several other National Infertility Awareness Week events on yoga, acupuncture, and losing the stigma of infertility. All #NIAW events are free and all are welcome–no need to be a patient to attend. But preregistration is required to claim your spot.

Infertility is hard and the stress understandably sends many toward comfort food. Unfortunately, many comfort foods aren’t healthy and a poor diet can negatively impact your fertility. In fact, some common diets may increase your likelihood of infertility by as much as 85%! So, put down that milkshake and greasy fries and learn about great-tasting, healthy-eating options that may work for– instead of against– your fertility.

Break the vicious cycle and get some control over your fertility back by learning how important good nutrition is in the infertility battle. There isn’t a lot we can control when getting pregnant requires assisted reproductive technologies like IVF or IUI, but we are in control of what and how we eat. So, let’s take advantage of it.

Why not come down to this fun and free nutrition workshop led by certified holistic health coach, Renée Barbis, and learn what to eat when you’re trying to conceive and how proper nutrition can help you maintain a healthy pregnancy and nourish your growing baby.

This event is the first in a series of four events celebrating National Infertility Awareness Week 2018 at Long Island IVF.

Register now to claim your spot for what will surely be a fun and informative evening. Bring your partner or a friend or come alone. All are welcome. Adults only. You will leave feeling inspired and empowered to enhance your own fertility through proper nutrition.

We hope to see you there!

 

 

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Long Island IVF Celebrates National Infertility Awareness Week 2018 with Several Exciting Events!

By Tracey Minella

April 4th, 2018 at 11:29 pm

image: Resolve @ www.infertilityawareness. org

 

Each year, Long Island IVF celebrates National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW) with a series of fun and educational events. This year, NIAW runs from April 22-28. The theme for this year is “Flip the Script”!

NIAW is devoted to raising awareness of infertility and advocating for change and better accessibility to and affordability of infertility treatment. This year through the theme “#FlipTheScript—RESOLVE wants to change the conversation around infertility so the public, media, insurers, healthcare professionals and lawmakers” understand the scope of the problem of infertility, the barriers to treatment, and its far-reaching impact. Learn more here.

So be sure to mark your calendars with these upcoming events—all of which are free and open to the public. No need to be a Long Island IVF patient to attend.

You’ll find a nice mix of offerings—some traditional favorites and some new things in the mix! Register now by clicking each link below. Here is the thrilling line up:

Tuesday April 24thNutrition for Fertility Workshop with Renee Barbis, Holistic Health Coach

Wednesday April 25thYoga for Fertility Session with Lisa Pineda of Lisa Pineda Yoga

Thursday April 26thAcupuncture for Fertility Seminar with Dr. David Kreiner and guests

Thursday May 3rd (NOT NIAW)—Losing the Stigma Workshop with Bina Benisch, MS, RN

 

If you’ve been trying to conceive without success and could use a fun night out with other women in the same boat, this invitation is for you.

All events will take place after business hours at the Long Island IVF office in Melville. Don’t delay, register today!

Will we see YOU at any or all of these great events???

 

image courtesy of Resolve, the National Infertility Association at www.infertilityawareness.org

 

 

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Will You Conceive in the Year of the Dog?

By Tracey Minella

February 17th, 2018 at 7:22 pm

image courtesy of 9comeback at freedigitalphotos.net

The celebration of Chinese New Year has begun. Out with the Year of the Rooster. Welcome the Year of the Dog. You don’t have to be Chinese to appreciate the richness of that culture’s traditions and the mystique of the Chinese methods of enhancing fertility.

In addition to being a pioneer in cutting-edge Western medicine and assisted reproductive technologies like IVF, Long Island IVF offers fertility acupuncture to its interested patients. This inexpensive, complementary holistic therapy is a hallmark of ancient Traditional Chinese Medicine (“TCM”) and is administered by our own Dr. David Kreiner–Long Island’s first reproductive endocrinologist who is also a certified acupuncturist.

Want to learn more about how fertility acupuncture might influence your ability to conceive? Register here for our free upcoming Fertility Acupuncture Seminar on March 29, 2018 at the Long Island IVF Melville office.

The Chinese zodiac consists of a cycle of 12 years, with each year being named for a different animal, and supposedly bestowing upon those born in that year certain characteristics which are similar to the traits of the featured animal.

Children born in the Year of the Dog are said to be loyal above all else. They are also honest, popular, give good and helpful advice, but can be worried and anxious, too. Of course, having a healthy baby any day of any year is likely all that really matters to most.

A Chinese co-worker enlightened me years ago about some Chinese New Year’s traditions, and since many involve luck and good fortune, it’s no wonder people—especially those experiencing infertility– might want to get in on the celebrations, which last a couple weeks.

On New Year’s Eve, the Chinese often celebrate by eating dumplings called “jiaozi”, which translates literally to “sleep together and have sons” according to http://www.theholidayspot.com. They also sweep out the house from top to bottom with a broom and give it a good cleaning. It symbolizes the sweeping away of all the bad luck of the past year so the good luck can enter.

On New Year’s Day, celebrants wear something red. It’s the color of good luck and symbolic of wealth. Elders often give children red envelopes with money inside on Chinese New Year. (And wouldn’t you know—there’s an app for that.) Maybe you can break out a red envelope, start a new tradition, and get your relatives to contribute to the IVF fund.

Tradition dictates that you put away the knives…this is good advice for hormonal women anyway. Using knives and scissors at this time symbolizes the “cutting off” of the good luck and is an omen of bad luck in the year to come. Finger foods today.

My point is that you don’t have to be Chinese to embrace some of the Chinese culture and have some fun. Wear red. Try your hand at jiaozi from an internet recipe—or order Chinese take-out and help a local business start its year of good fortune! Surround yourself with the richness of red and gold. Sweep out that old bad luck and embrace the new year that waits.

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Do you celebrate Chinese New Year or follow any other cultural traditions with fertility-related traditions? Would you like to learn about fertility acupuncture?

 

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Infertility and Anti-Valentine’s Day

By Tracey Minella

February 14th, 2018 at 5:30 pm

image: gratisography.com-ryan mcguire

Ugh. Valentine’s Day…another rough day for many infertile couples.

Sure you can have a romantic night alone. But there’s all kinds of stress with tonight’s “expectations”. Don’t you want to scream “I really just want a snotty, crying, feverish baby to keep me up all night!”?

Frankly, there’s been enough alone time—maybe years of it. It’s time for a bunch of kids to ruin all that. Hello, universe? We’re still waiting!

Then there’s your friends. The ones with kids (which is basically ALL of them, right?) who complain how they don’t want to stay home with their little ones and can’t wait until the sitter arrives tonight so they can toast each other over a peaceful candlelight meal. That’s rough–especially when you’d give anything to have a baby hanging on your neck as you pay the Dominos delivery guy.

You can’t win. You don’t have the kids– yet. And the emotional and financial stresses of infertility take the romance out of your time alone.

So, what do you do if you don’t want to do the traditional Valentine’s Day stuff?

Why not take VD to the extreme and get all silly about it? Over-do it. Do the candy, the flowers, the candles, the rose petals, the satin sheets…the whole, cheesy cliché of it. And then laugh at yourselves. You know the laugh I’m talking about. “Your” laugh. It’s that special thing between you where one can just look at the other and you laugh uncontrollably. You could both use it.

Or do the opposite. Anti-Valentine’s Day. Defy it. No card or gift. No succumbing to the pressure of Hallmark’s holiday. Save a rose garden somewhere by rejecting flowers.

Need inspiration on how to practice extreme defiance of all things traditionally Valentine-y?

  • Skip the primp and be the low-key version of yourself.
  • Run 80 errands for the benefit of people other than yourself.
  • Have that annual GYN exam that’s overdue. It’s the easiest day to get an appointment. Who needs a card when you can have a prescription for a mammogram and a sonogram?
  • Hit the golden arches for lunch. Because nothing says Valentine’s like a Big Mac meal. Go on, supersize it.
  • The Finale: Invite your mother-in-law for dinner.

Bet your day’s looking better already. No need to thank me.

Seriously, just make it whatever you and your partner need it to be today. Don’t succumb to society’s pressures about how you should look, act, or behave. Play it up– or down. But do take a moment to be thankful for each other to lean on during these hard days. Don’t ever downplay that.

And have faith.

Because maybe next year, you’ll be greeting that Dominos guy with a baby hanging on your neck. (How’s that for extra cheese?)

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So, what are YOUR Valentine’s Day plans?

 

 

 

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Groundhog’s Day–The Infertility Movie

By Tracey Minella

February 2nd, 2018 at 2:04 pm

image: wpclipart.com

Groundhog’s Day for infertility patients is about more than just pulling a sleeping rodent out of a hole to find out the forecast. Infertility patients relate more to Groundhog’s Day, the Movie. Remember how Bill Murray’s character was trapped reliving Groundhog’s Day all over again? Every. Single. Day? And how he desperately tried to tweak things each day in order change the outcome and finally get the thing he wanted that was always just out of his reach?

Well, that’s essentially the life of the infertility patient on their journey—especially if the baby quest is dragging out like a long, dreary winter with no hope of spring in sight. Day after day of blood work, ultrasounds, injections that blend into each other. And a frustrating hell of repetitive negative pee sticks month after disappointing month.

So, if you need extra support, Long Island IVF offers it. Our innovative Mind-Body Program, which includes group and individual counseling, may help you cope.

Or register here and come down for our free “Rekindling the Romance in the Face of Infertility” workshop on February 8th. All are welcome—no need to be a patient.

Here on Long Island for the second straight year, two local groundhogs can’t seem to agree on whether we’re going to have to suffer through more ugliness or be blessed with an early spring.

So, what do we do?

We have faith that the outcome we wish for is going to be the one we actually get. And we look forward to the morning when we will wake up from this difficult repetitiveness to a new day where the shadow of infertility is no longer in sight.

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Rekindling the Romance in the Face of Infertility Workshop

By Tracey Minella

February 2nd, 2018 at 10:42 am

Rekindling the Romance

When baby-making get serious– and infertility treatment dictates when you can and cannot have sex– romance goes right out the window. If only there was a fun and supportive workshop where you could learn how to rekindle your romance while struggling with infertility…

Well, actually, there is! Find out how to recapture the passion at Long Island IVF’s free workshop “Rekindling Romance in the Face of Infertility”— open to all infertile couples.

Over the past few years, Long Island IVF has been offering this special workshop for infertile couples, timed right before Valentine’s Day. Led by our popular counselor and infertility specialist, Bina Benisch, MS, RN, the workshop explores ways couples can navigate the challenges of feeling sexual and loving – – and keeping their passion alive – – while battling infertility. Ask anyone who’s attended one of Bina’s past workshops and you will hear how easy she is to open up to and how much she understands what infertile couples go through.

If your interest has been piqued– but your “awkwardness alarm” is ringing– then you are in good company. For those blushing at the thought of what’s going to happen here, rest assured no one has to reveal anything personal or even speak at all. This workshop is generally attended by a small group of couples just like you. Wouldn’t it be nice to be around other couples who “get it” for a change—people who understand what you’re going through in a way fertile friends and family just don’t–because they are feeling the same way, too?

Some past attendees tell us they were hesitant and nervous coming in, but were so happy that they did. Just being in the presence of others who are in your shoes makes the isolation of infertility feel less overwhelming. We’ve even had some real friendships begin at this workshop each year as strangers are converted to friends who want to keep in touch beyond the workshop.

The free workshop will be held on Thursday night, February 8, 2018 at 7-9pm the Long Island IVF office at 8 Corporate Center Dr., Melville, New York.

All are welcome to attend—no need to be a patient of our practice. Can’t get your partner to come with you? Bring a friend or come alone. Pre-registration is required so secure your spot and sign up here now.

Let us help you dig out of the depression of scheduled sex, negativity, self-criticism, and fear and rekindle the romance and spontaneity that’s buried under that pile of negative pee sticks.

You love your partner and you are in this together. Let us help you reconnect…because reducing stress and rekindling romance can only help in the end.

We hope to see you there! Register today.

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Infertility, Seasonal Affective Disorder, and the First Quarter Blues

By Tracey Minella

January 4th, 2018 at 11:56 pm

depressed woman

image credit: nenetus at freedigitalphotos.net

Infertility and depression go hand-in-hand. Just ask any woman who’s not able to conceive or maintain a pregnancy without medical intervention. You’d be down, too. But some couples–yes, men have feelings, too–are seriously depressed. Maybe even clinically depressed.

Any number of factors could impact a couple’s ability to cope with their infertility struggle. There’s often misplaced guilt or blame over whose “fault” the problem is– or alternatively the complete frustration of facing an “unexplained infertility” diagnosis. Some couples may be completely overwhelmed upon the initial diagnosis while others spiral downward as more time passes without a baby. And the stress of the financial burden of infertility treatment on a couple’s budget doesn’t help matters.

But could there be more to “being down” at this time of year?

Many people actually suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder* (“SAD”) –a form of depression that comes and goes with the seasons. Generally, the onset of symptoms begins in the fall, continues or escalates through the winter and eases a bit as spring arrives. This actual syndrome causes those affected to become more depressed in the cold, dark, dreary winter season than they tend to be during the sunny, warm, longer and somewhat more carefree days of summer. Therapy may help ease the symptoms.

So, is it harder to be infertile during the winter months? Does it feel that way to you?

It’s certainly understandable to be down after the holiday season is over and to be exhausted by endless weeks of wearing a fake smile and dodging nagging personal questions –all while surrounded by the babies and pregnant bellies of others. The bitter cold weather on Long Island lately would make anyone want to pull the covers over their head and hibernate. Unless you have an upcoming vacation to look forward to, the first quarter of the new year could seem pretty bleak.

However, if you’re feeling particularly depressed and your depression is interfering with your ability to get through the demands of your day, it may be more than just the winter blues. And it might be time to seek counseling from a caring therapist who specializes in helping infertile couples cope with the stress of infertility.

Among the many offerings of the Long Island IVF Mind-Body Program are individual and group counseling sessions with Bina Benisch, M.S., R.N. In addition, we offer special workshops hosted by Bina for individuals and couples covering topics like how to “come out” to friends and family about your infertility struggle or how to keep passion in your relationship during your infertility treatment.

Whether you are interested in individual or group counseling with Bina or you want to register here for her upcoming, pre-Valentine’s Day workshop on “Rekindling Romance in the Face of Infertility”, help is here for you. And you don’t have to be a Long Island IVF patient to participate. In fact, many couples’ first experiences with our practice began with Bina’s counseling, or by taking advantage of our free workshops and seminars during the year. Becoming patients—and hopefully parents—often follows that initial contact.

Long Island IVF is celebrating a milestone this year: 2018 marks our 30th anniversary! The same team of doctors who founded the practice responsible for bringing Long Island its first IVF baby, its first baby from a cryopreserved embryo, and its first donor egg baby is still together three decades later and continues to pioneer breakthroughs in the field of assisted reproductive technology. We love what we do and the birth of every baby we’re responsible for is just as exciting as that very first one. Let us help you celebrate a milestone this year, too. Contact us today to schedule an initial consultation.

 

*Source: The Mayo Clinic https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20364651

Image credit: freedigitalphotos.net/nenetus

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