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Archive for the ‘National Infertile Coming Out Day’ tag

Infertile “Coming Out” Day

By Tracey Minella

December 16th, 2014 at 3:56 pm


credit: stuart miles/

Many people suffering from infertility do so in silence. And this makes the struggle even harder. Did you just survive another holiday season dodging and lying to the baby-naggers and holding back tears as a mob of nieces and nephews opened presents? Are you wondering how you’ll face another New Year like this?

Despite the spike in infertility awareness and all the progress that’s made during April’s National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW), by the time the holiday season approaches in December infertility awareness is off the public’s radar. With all the child-centered fun and the family gatherings where ignorant or insensitive baby pressure comments are made, December is particularly hard on the infertile. Especially the “closet” infertile who doesn’t have family support.

NIAW is specifically timed for late April, just before Mother’s Day…the indisputably most painful day of the year for infertile women. On the heels of NIAW is Advocacy Day in early May, when hundreds of infertiles and their supporters flock to Washington, D.C. to speak to elected officials about infertile-friendly issues and pending legislation. NIAW and Advocacy Day raise infertility awareness, educate the fertile public and legislators, and help reduce the ignorant and insensitive comments infertile couples are faced with. At least temporarily.

There is even a National Infertility Survival Day, on the first Sunday in May (also just before Mother’s Day) to “celebrate all the hard work and effort that infertile couples put towards trying to have a child.  The day’s main emphasis is on self-care and celebration for what they do have. It’s also a day for friends and family to help lift the spirits of a loved one coping with infertility.” * This is a great idea for those who’ve already told their friends and families… or for couples to celebrate privately.

But wouldn’t it be wonderful if infertile people had a day…much like the GLBT community’s Coming-Out Day in October…when they could “come out” to their family and friends about their infertility? And wouldn’t it be great if that day was timed for right before Thanksgiving, the kick-off of the winter holiday season? I vote for November 11th. 11-11…easy to remember. Just like two lines on a test strip.

Participants in Infertility Coming-Out Day would release the burden of their silence, quiet the “baby-naggers”, and hopefully receive needed support and understanding. And even those who still remain silent might benefit from publicity surrounding such a day.

Who is with me?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ** * * ** **** **

Do you think there should be such a day just before the winter holidays? If you are currently suffering in silence, would you find strength in numbers and find it easier to “come out” on such a day? If you’re struggling with wanting to tell, but not knowing how or when the time is right, would this help you?

If you have told your family, how and when did you do so…and how was the news received?




credit: stuart miles/ Image ID: 10054806

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