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Archive for the ‘stigma of infertility’ tag

The Reveal: A “Coming Out Infertile” Day Workshop Event

By Tracey Minella

November 4th, 2016 at 1:30 pm

Long Island IVF is proud to sponsor the second annual “Coming Out Infertile” Day on November 17, 2016 and The Reveal: a special pre-holiday season workshop for those suffering in silence from infertility.

Infertility is a devastating disease that affects 1 out of every 8 couples. In addition to the pain and fear that comes with this diagnosis, many couples feel the unwarranted stigma of shame and guilt. Consequently, they keep their infertility a secret—even from their family and closest friends.

They are often afraid…or don’t know how… to tell their families and friends (or their employers) that they are having trouble getting or staying pregnant and need treatment. So they suffer in silence. Often for many months or years.

Coming Out Infertile Day (andThe Reveal workshop) was conceived to encourage those suffering from infertility to “come out” to their families, friends, and/or employers if they feel ready to do so… and to help them with the tools they need to do so. And most importantly, to come out in a way that feels right for them.

The holiday season, with its focus on children and families, is a particularly hard time for infertile folks who are easy targets for nagging personal questions about baby-making plans.

What we wouldn’t give to have a pregnancy test kit with two lines on it.  

Coming Out Infertile Day…seven months after National Infertility Awareness Week in April and right before the stress of the winter holidays…is a timely public reminder of the pain of infertility and a chance for those suffering to come out and get support.

Long Island IVF is offering a The Reveal—a free Coming-Out Infertile Workshop on November 17, 2016 from 6:30-8 pm at its offices at 8 Corporate Center Drive, Melville, New York. Led by our own Mind-Body medicine expert and psychologist, Bina Benisch, MS, RN, who specializes in counseling infertility patients, attendees will be given the support they need to come out infertile in a manner that’s right for them. In addition to this free group counseling, attendees will receive sample scripts and template letters to customize to help them. Are you ready to tell just your parents? Or your best friend? The whole family? Need to know how to break it to your boss? We can help. All are welcome. The workshop is free but pre-registration is required,  so register here:

Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words. So, for those ready to fully and publicly come out, Workshop attendees will be able to be part of Coming Out Infertile Day’s social media campaign where you can easily upload and share your photo with the official #Comingoutinfertile hashtag and graphic on various social media platforms by using the easy and free app, PicStitch. You do not have to be a Long Island IVF patient to participate. All are welcome and encouraged to be part of this empowering event!

Or be with us virtually!! Those unable to attend can use the #ComingOutInfertile social media PicStich app instructions coming soon. So, like our Long Island IVF Facebook page and/or the Coming Out Infertile Day page to stay on top of this movement.

It’s time to end the stigma of infertility. It’s time to unburden yourself from the added weight of this secret and get the support you need. It’s time to #comeoutinfertile. Join us in person or on social media on 11-17. Be part of the movement no matter where you are in your infertility journey.

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What is holding you back from coming out infertile? Are you ready to join the #comingoutinfertile movement?



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Infertility Needs a Betty Ford

By Tracey Minella

July 12th, 2011 at 12:00 am

Former first lady and drug addict, Betty Ford, died this week. She will forever be remembered for her contributions to helping recovering drug addicts.

Sure, there is the tangible reminder of the Betty Ford Clinic. The building which has served as a revolving door for some celebrities who try…and try again…to kick their habits.

But there’s a greater legacy.

There’s the intangible one. It’s what Betty Ford did to remove the stigma associated with drug addiction. It was her “coming out” and saying she was an alcoholic and drug addict. What she did by doing that was to make it easier for the regular, non-celebrities who were suffering the same pain to come out as well. To seek help. To be treated more openly. To remove the stigma attached to drug addicts.

Infertility needs a Betty Ford. I don’t think we have one yet. Do you?

We need a celebrity who owns up to her infertility and the treatment she had to overcome it. Not one who has a multiple birth and pretends it just happened naturally (Yes I know some do, but c’mon.)  Each time they fail to acknowledge it, they set our movement back again. They validate the stigma that keeps so many regular folks in the closet about their infertility. Like there’s shame attached to not being able to conceive without medical assistance. We all know we shouldn’t be ashamed. We know that…in our heads. But still many of us don’t speak up about it. We hide it. And we suffer in silence.

I’m holding out for a hero. One that not only admits the problem, but that does so before she has her IVF twins…when its hard to admit it because you don’t yet know for sure that the treatment is going to work for you. Telling us after the fact that you had fertility problems means nothing  when your nanny is pushing your twins’ 24 carat gold trimmed carriage through Central Park while you run off in your size 0 yoga pants to meet your personal trainer. Fess up in advance. Let us follow your saga. Be vulnerable.

And while we’re at it, how about a foundation with a program that assists regular folks like us in getting infertility treatment or covers adoption expenses? If I ever made it famous, an infertility-centered charity would be right up there on my list of philanthropic ventures. I can’t think of many other things that would be more satisfying than helping a couple become parents.

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So while we’re waiting on my fame and contribution, do you think we already have an infertility role model? A heroine for our cause? If so, let us know who and why.

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