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Archive for the ‘Tracey Minella’ tag

Rekindling the Romance in the Face of Infertility Workshop

By Tracey Minella

February 2nd, 2018 at 10:42 am

Rekindling the Romance

When baby-making get serious– and infertility treatment dictates when you can and cannot have sex– romance goes right out the window. If only there was a fun and supportive workshop where you could learn how to rekindle your romance while struggling with infertility…

Well, actually, there is! Find out how to recapture the passion at Long Island IVF’s free workshop “Rekindling Romance in the Face of Infertility”— open to all infertile couples.

Over the past few years, Long Island IVF has been offering this special workshop for infertile couples, timed right before Valentine’s Day. Led by our popular counselor and infertility specialist, Bina Benisch, MS, RN, the workshop explores ways couples can navigate the challenges of feeling sexual and loving – – and keeping their passion alive – – while battling infertility. Ask anyone who’s attended one of Bina’s past workshops and you will hear how easy she is to open up to and how much she understands what infertile couples go through.

If your interest has been piqued– but your “awkwardness alarm” is ringing– then you are in good company. For those blushing at the thought of what’s going to happen here, rest assured no one has to reveal anything personal or even speak at all. This workshop is generally attended by a small group of couples just like you. Wouldn’t it be nice to be around other couples who “get it” for a change—people who understand what you’re going through in a way fertile friends and family just don’t–because they are feeling the same way, too?

Some past attendees tell us they were hesitant and nervous coming in, but were so happy that they did. Just being in the presence of others who are in your shoes makes the isolation of infertility feel less overwhelming. We’ve even had some real friendships begin at this workshop each year as strangers are converted to friends who want to keep in touch beyond the workshop.

The free workshop will be held on Thursday night, February 8, 2018 at 7-9pm the Long Island IVF office at 8 Corporate Center Dr., Melville, New York.

All are welcome to attend—no need to be a patient of our practice. Can’t get your partner to come with you? Bring a friend or come alone. Pre-registration is required so secure your spot and sign up here now.

Let us help you dig out of the depression of scheduled sex, negativity, self-criticism, and fear and rekindle the romance and spontaneity that’s buried under that pile of negative pee sticks.

You love your partner and you are in this together. Let us help you reconnect…because reducing stress and rekindling romance can only help in the end.

We hope to see you there! Register today.

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Infertility, Seasonal Affective Disorder, and the First Quarter Blues

By Tracey Minella

January 4th, 2018 at 11:56 pm

depressed woman

image credit: nenetus at freedigitalphotos.net

Infertility and depression go hand-in-hand. Just ask any woman who’s not able to conceive or maintain a pregnancy without medical intervention. You’d be down, too. But some couples–yes, men have feelings, too–are seriously depressed. Maybe even clinically depressed.

Any number of factors could impact a couple’s ability to cope with their infertility struggle. There’s often misplaced guilt or blame over whose “fault” the problem is– or alternatively the complete frustration of facing an “unexplained infertility” diagnosis. Some couples may be completely overwhelmed upon the initial diagnosis while others spiral downward as more time passes without a baby. And the stress of the financial burden of infertility treatment on a couple’s budget doesn’t help matters.

But could there be more to “being down” at this time of year?

Many people actually suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder* (“SAD”) –a form of depression that comes and goes with the seasons. Generally, the onset of symptoms begins in the fall, continues or escalates through the winter and eases a bit as spring arrives. This actual syndrome causes those affected to become more depressed in the cold, dark, dreary winter season than they tend to be during the sunny, warm, longer and somewhat more carefree days of summer. Therapy may help ease the symptoms.

So, is it harder to be infertile during the winter months? Does it feel that way to you?

It’s certainly understandable to be down after the holiday season is over and to be exhausted by endless weeks of wearing a fake smile and dodging nagging personal questions –all while surrounded by the babies and pregnant bellies of others. The bitter cold weather on Long Island lately would make anyone want to pull the covers over their head and hibernate. Unless you have an upcoming vacation to look forward to, the first quarter of the new year could seem pretty bleak.

However, if you’re feeling particularly depressed and your depression is interfering with your ability to get through the demands of your day, it may be more than just the winter blues. And it might be time to seek counseling from a caring therapist who specializes in helping infertile couples cope with the stress of infertility.

Among the many offerings of the Long Island IVF Mind-Body Program are individual and group counseling sessions with Bina Benisch, M.S., R.N. In addition, we offer special workshops hosted by Bina for individuals and couples covering topics like how to “come out” to friends and family about your infertility struggle or how to keep passion in your relationship during your infertility treatment.

Whether you are interested in individual or group counseling with Bina or you want to register here for her upcoming, pre-Valentine’s Day workshop on “Rekindling Romance in the Face of Infertility”, help is here for you. And you don’t have to be a Long Island IVF patient to participate. In fact, many couples’ first experiences with our practice began with Bina’s counseling, or by taking advantage of our free workshops and seminars during the year. Becoming patients—and hopefully parents—often follows that initial contact.

Long Island IVF is celebrating a milestone this year: 2018 marks our 30th anniversary! The same team of doctors who founded the practice responsible for bringing Long Island its first IVF baby, its first baby from a cryopreserved embryo, and its first donor egg baby is still together three decades later and continues to pioneer breakthroughs in the field of assisted reproductive technology. We love what we do and the birth of every baby we’re responsible for is just as exciting as that very first one. Let us help you celebrate a milestone this year, too. Contact us today to schedule an initial consultation.

 

*Source: The Mayo Clinic https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20364651

Image credit: freedigitalphotos.net/nenetus

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A New Year’s Plan Beats a Resolution When Infertile

By Tracey Minella

January 2nd, 2018 at 8:41 am

breaking resolutions

image credit: Ryan McGuire-Gratisography

We’ve barely cracked into the New Year and I’m already tired of hearing about people’s resolutions. Including yours, I bet. And here’s why…

We all make them. We all break them. The thing that frustrates me about other people’s resolutions is that they are generally related to things that are within the maker’s control to make happen. Something the person can do themselves… or can stop doing. Something that doesn’t require the assistance of somebody else. Something that could be guaranteed to be successful if the person merely put in the required effort.

That’s what’s so hard about infertility and the fertility-based resolutions that come from its sufferers.

How many of you struggling to have a child made the same New Year’s resolution yet again…To have a baby this year?

It’s a wish. It’s a dream. And, yes, it’s everything… but it’s not a resolution. At least not to infertile people. Because it is not something within your power to control. At the very least it requires a third-party – – a reproductive endocrinologist– to make it happen. Plus, it requires money which could be an obstacle for some people.

So, the outcome of your so-called “baby resolution” is not in your sole control. And as important a role as your doctor plays, and as great as IVF success rates have become at a quality practice, success is not guaranteed on the first try– or even at all in some cases. The sad reality is that only the fertile folks can make baby resolutions.

Making a resolution to have a baby is setting yourself up to fail, like the dieters who have already cheated and the smokers already back outside puffing away in the bitter cold. And don’t we already heap enough feelings of failure on ourselves?

So, make a New Year’s plan not a resolution.

It may sound like semantics, but the mere word “resolution” in general is tied so often to failure that you need to leave it behind when it comes to your fertility. Choose to plan.

When you plan, you take action. When you plan, you take control. Rather than weakly resolving that you’re going to have a baby this year, get proactive and plan for it. Take control of what is within your control.

So many factors that could positively impact your fertility (as well as your general health) are within your control, so:

 

  • get adequate sleep,
  • drink lots of water to stay hydrated,
  • eat healthy and/or organic foods,
  • take vitamins and exercise with your doctor’s approval,
  • lose excess weight with your doctor’s approval,
  • stop bad habits like smoking or drinking excessively,
  • consider complementary holistic mind-body therapies and fertility acupuncture,
  • research financial options for infertility treatment.

 

Long Island IVF’s payment options, including grants, may help finance your infertility treatment. While it’s never easy to change jobs (or add an extra job) especially in economically-challenging times, more companies are offering insurance coverage for infertility treatment these days, including positions that don’t require special skills or advanced education, such as at Starbucks.

Listen to the voice in your head if it’s telling you something may be wrong and stop delaying having a consultation with a reproductive endocrinologist about the state of your fertility.

In fact, even if you are not currently trying to get pregnant, you may benefit from a fertility screening to see if there are any noticeable “red flags” about your reproductive health that might impact your future fertility plans. While it might be scary, knowing is always better than not knowing because it can let you take proactive steps before it’s too late, such as freezing your eggs while you are younger as “insurance” for use later if needed. Or just bumping up your baby plans if there are signs that that would be advisable, like a diminished ovarian reserve.

If you would like a fertility screening, or if you have been unable to become (or remain) pregnant and would like an initial consultation for fertility treatment, please contact us at any of our Long Island or Brooklyn offices.

2018 is a milestone year for Long Island IVF as we are celebrating our 30-year anniversary this summer. We are proud to have pioneered IVF here and to have brought Long Island its first IVF baby… and we treasure every baby we’ve helped bring into this world ever since.

Let us help you make 2018 a milestone year as well. Contact us today.

 

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Halloween is Like a Cavity for Infertiles

By Tracey Minella

October 31st, 2017 at 8:10 am

 

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at freedigitalphotos.net


There is no sugar coating the fact that Halloween is a rough one. Maybe the roughest of all. Sort of like a cavity that grows more painful as the long day drags on. And the fact that it’s not a weekend and won’t kick in until after school is no real consolation—especially since Halloween has become a week-long event of local parades, festivals, and multiple parties. As anyone who has experienced it knows, there are few things more painful than dental pain…except of course infertility.

So, if you can’t access some Novocain to numb the pain of the day, what do you do?

Halloween has always been the one universal children’s holiday…celebrated by all children. We all remember Halloween fondly, the costumes, the candy, the parties, the doorbells. The sugar-rush, shaving cream fights, and the eggs… for you rebels out there. Bolting from house to house for hours, until our feet dragged from the weight of a pillowcase that rivaled Santa’s sack. Parents watching from the curb.

Just one more house.

Halloween is literally the most “in-your-face” holiday. It’s an onslaught far worse than Christmas or Hanukah… where you only have to deal with the kids in your immediate families. Today, the little devils are everywhere. All day and night. In the streets and at your door. You can’t hide.

Childhood memories of Halloween make us want to be kids again. And simultaneously makes us want to have our own so they can experience the same wonder. We want to be the one at the curb today, the one who checks the bags for safety, the one posting 102 pictures to Facebook. We want to go to a “trunk or treat” event and safe Halloween outings at local schools or host our own kiddie party.

Waiting is like a little pirate’s plastic dagger in the heart.

Another year that the dream of dressing up a little boy or girl in the perfect costume hasn’t come true. Some of us may have already bought that tiny pea pod costume in a moment of weakness…or hope.

Novocain, where are you?

Do whatever it takes to get you through the day. Stay off social media. Maybe seeing the kids helps you somehow and if so, then drink in as much hope as they bring you for the future. But if answering the door 372 times feels like a dentist’s drill to the heart, then just lower the lights, put a bowl of treats out, and retire early… with a bag (or two) of your own favorite candy. Because sometimes, Milky Way is the only way.

A cavity, like infertility, takes time to develop… and hurts like hell. But they both eventually do get resolved. And more often than not, in a good way.

So, here’s hoping your Halloween isn’t as painful as a root canal… and that you’ll be flashing a big, bright and pain-free smile before the next one rolls around. Pea pod in tow.

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How do/did you handle Halloween when infertile?

 

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Listen Up! National Infertility Awareness Week Events are coming to Long Island IVF

By Tracey Minella

April 4th, 2017 at 6:28 am

It’s that time of the year again. That time when we have the attention of the rest of the world…a/k/a the fertile folks…and get a chance to school their basically clueless selves about the daily and often debilitating struggles of the fertility-challenged.

It’s not their fault they are fertile. Or clueless. But that doesn’t make them or their remarks any less irritable all year long. So the theme for this year’s National Infertility Awareness Week (“NIAW”)–“Listen Up!”—is really appropriate! NIAW runs from April 23-29, 2017. Let’s take advantage of the chance to make them listen up.

Each year, before, during, and after NIAW, Long Island IVF offers some events to help those struggling with infertility and to raise awareness of infertility. All events are presented in our Melville office and are free and open to the public—no need to be a patient of ours. They are designed to help support you physically and emotionally no matter where you are on your journey to parenthood. Did I mention they are FREE?

Some events give you a mental and physical leg up, so to speak—like our “Yoga for Fertility Night” on April 26th with Lisa Pineda! Learn and do the poses designed to help your body become more receptive to pregnancy through stress reduction, increased blood flow to the uterus, and more. Register here for free. Spots go fast. This was wildly popular last time we offered it!

Similarly, our “Acupuncture for Fertility Symposium” on April 27th, offers a live demo of fertility acupuncture—a holistic and ancient therapy offered at Long Island IVF by our own Dr. David Kreiner, the area’s first and only known reproductive endocrinologist who is also a certified and practicing medical acupuncturist. Learn from a panel of experts how some patients may improve their chances of IVF success by using this complementary therapy—even if they tried IVF unsuccessfully in the past. Register here for free.

Right on the heels of NIAW is the most dreaded day of the year for many infertile ladies: Mother’s Day (followed by the also-awful Father’s Day for the guys). These two days are difficult for all of us, but they’re particularly hard on those who have been on their infertility journey a long time and have exhausted many available family-building options or those suffering in silence and stressing over keeping the secret.

Right before Mother’s Day we are offering our “New Beginnings through Donor Egg Seminar” on May 2nd. Donor Egg is not usually the first step for people seeking to build a family and many people have suffered a long time, through disappointment and loss, before opening up to the possibility of building their family with donor egg. If you find yourself open to exploring a program that many women later confess they wish they considered sooner, please join us to learn more from our supportive and compassionate donor egg team of doctors and nurses. Hear from one of our many successful donor egg recipient moms and ask your questions. Register here for free.

 

Also before Mother’s Day is our “Tired of the Secret Workshop” on May 4th. In an effort to help those couples who want or need to come out of the infertility closet and tell their family and friends or employers—but don’t know how to do it—we are bringing back this popular workshop from Coming Out Infertile Day last November. Led by our Mind-Body Program and infertility specialist, Bina Benisch, MS, RN, couples or individuals who want to “come out” are given counsel and guidance to work through the issues that are blocking them, as well as suggestions on how to navigate that important conversation so they can unburden themselves and get the support they need from their loved ones. Register here for free.

If you or anyone you know is struggling with infertility please join us at any or all of these events for free, so we can support you on your journey. If your personal journey is resolved, please share the information so friends who are suffering in silence may see it and benefit.

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Which event(s) seem interesting to you? Are there any other events you’d like to see offered?

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Long Island IVF-WINNER: Best in Vitro Fertility Practice 2015- 2016- 2017

It is with humble yet excited hearts that we announce that Long Island IVF was voted the Best In Vitro Fertility Practice in the Best Of Long Island 2015 and 2016 and 2017 contest…three years in a row!

The doctors, nurses, embryologists, and the rest of the Long Island IVF staff are so proud of this honor and so thankful to every one of you who took the time to vote. From the moms juggling LIIVF babies… to the dads coaching LIIVF teens…to the parents sending LIIVF adults off to college or down the aisles… to the LIIVF patients still on their journeys to parenthood who are confident in the care they’re receiving…we thank you all.

We love what we’ve gotten to do every day more than 29 years…build families. If you are having trouble conceiving, please call us. Many of our nurses and staff were also our patients, so we really do understand what you’re going through. And we’d like to help. 631-752-0606.

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8 Things to #StartAsking and #KEEPAsking after #NIAW

By Tracey Minella

April 30th, 2016 at 4:43 pm

 

image courtesy of Resolve, the National Infertility Association


Honestly, my first reaction to this year’s NAIW #StartAsking theme wasn’t positive. It just didn’t sit right with me for some nagging reason I couldn’t put my finger on. So, it was hard to sit down and write a post using it. It made me have to really think about some serious and difficult things. Stuff I usually keep locked away. Some days, I just don’t have the strength to think too hard.

Start Asking.

Start Asking why? Start asking how? Start asking for something?

Start asking…what, exactly?

Should I start asking Why me? Truth be told, that was the first thing that came to mind. But there is no point in asking that question. So what is worth asking?

Then it dawned on me. We need to start asking for whatever it is we need in order to get through this journey (or to see that those who follow us can get through it). It’s that simple. And that difficult.

That means asking for help, for understanding, for respect, for answers, for kindness, for prayers, for coverage, and for action.

Start asking yourself what you need. And who can fill that need?

  1. Help: It’s hard to ask for financial help but if it’s the only barrier to treatment, you may have to ask. Loans, gifts, online fundraising sites are some ways to finance fertility treatment. Most IVF practices offer grants as well. Ask for help.
  2. Understanding: No one will truly get it unless they’ve battled infertility themselves. But they need to try to understand why it’s too hard for you to handle things like baby showers, egg hunts, and gender reveal parties for a couple’s 5th baby. Tell them you’re happy for them, but it hurts too much to participate right now. Ask them to understand.
  3. Respect: Everyone has advice on how you should be handling your infertility journey. Regardless of their personal (and usually uneducated) opinions, they need to respect the decisions you’re making…whether that involves IUI,  IVF, egg donation, donor sperm, surrogacy, egg freezing, pre-implantation genetic screening, adoption, or choosing to live child-free. Ask them to respect your right to make your own decisions.
  4. Answers: There is no such thing as a stupid question, at least when it comes to infertility treatment. So much is on the line that you owe it to yourself to understand the often complicated and ever-changing world of assisted reproductive technology. Understand what is happening to your body during any given treatment or procedure, including the medications you’re taking, how to take them, and any possible side-effects.  Knowledge is power. Ask questions if you don’t understand something.
  5. Kindness: Similar to respect, you deserve to be treated kindly. People can be mean…on purpose or innocently. “Why can’t you give me grandchildren?” “He just looks at me and I get pregnant”. “You can have one of mine.” “I’ll get her pregnant for you”. “Be thankful you have one.” Protect your heart. Ask people to stop saying hurtful things like that.
  6. Prayers: For the religious, infertility (especially a long journey filled with losses) can sometimes be a test of one’s faith. Don’t feel guilty asking why this is happening to you or questioning why your prayers are not being answered. If your faith is a source of comfort and strength to you and also to those you know, ask for their prayers or good thoughts on your behalf.
  7. Coverage: As you no doubt know, the biggest barrier to infertility treatment is often lack of health insurance coverage. Most policies offer little to no coverage for fertility treatments like IVF. The only hope for change lies in advocating for new legislation mandating better infertility coverage. Ask your elected representatives to create or support legislation mandating IVF coverage.
  8. Action: Start asking is a good start. It’s a catchy theme for NIAW. It’s good to raise awareness. One week per year. But that’s not enough. We need infertility action not just infertility awareness. The week is over. Tomorrow we risk being forgotten until next April (or at least until we resurrect Coming Out Infertile Day in November). And those baby shower invites will still flood the mailbox. Those nagging personal questions will not abate. And those uncovered infertility costs will still prevent many from accessing the treatments they need to become parents. Ask yourself and others to take action for real change.

I guess my issue with the theme this year, or maybe every year, is just a frustration over the slow pace of change. And the poor collective memory of the public. Tomorrow will not only start a new week, but a new month. A new “awareness” cause to push. By Friday, will anyone still be aware of infertility? Will they still be ASKING? We don’t need to just #StartAsking. We need to #KEEPAsking.

Let’s show our appreciation for –and join–all the tireless infertility advocates who support the infertile folks of today through activism, advocacy, blogging, and more. To the extent you can, join the fight. Consider participating in Advocacy Day . Don’t just start asking. Keep asking. Then keep acting until real change happens. Until we have babies for all.

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What did you #StartAsking? What will you #KeepAsking?

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Long Island IVF-WINNER: Best in Vitro Fertility Practice 2015 AND 2016

It is with humble yet excited hearts that we announce that Long Island IVF was voted the Best In Vitro Fertility Practice in the Best Of Long Island 2015 and 2016 contest…two years in a row!

The doctors, nurses, embryologists, and the rest of the Long Island IVF staff are so proud of this honor and so thankful to every one of you who took the time to vote. From the moms juggling LIIVF babies… to the dads coaching LIIVF teens…to the parents sending LIIVF adults off to college or down the aisles… to the LIIVF patients still on their journeys to parenthood who are confident in the care they’re receiving…we thank you all.

We love what we’ve gotten to do every day more than 28 years…build families. If you are having trouble conceiving, please call us. Many of our nurses and staff were also our patients, so we really do understand what you’re going through. And we’d like to help. 631-752-0606.

 

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Infertile? You’ll Need the Strength of Ten Grinches… Plus Two

By Tracey Minella

March 2nd, 2016 at 6:22 pm

photo credit: T.Minella

 

Today is Dr. Seuss’ birthday. Just hearing his name calls to mind our favorite childhood books with their catchy rhymes and quirky characters. Green Eggs and Ham. The Cat in the Hat. And countless others.

 

My personal favorite, the Grinch, was also a TV movie back in the day. I remember my parents checking the TV Guide for the Christmas TV specials. There were no TiVos, DVRs, DVDs, or even video tapes back then. If you missed a special, you had to wait until the next year to see it again. Imagine that? But it made us appreciate the magic of these childhood stories even more.

 

So what does Dr. Seuss have to do with infertility, you wonder?

 

Well, it just so happens that one of his books, Oh, the Places You’ll Go speaks directly to the infertile soul, as evidenced by  the following few excerpts:

 

“…And when you’re in a Slump,
you’re not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.”

“You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?”

 

“… And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance
you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on…”

 

However, no tribute to Dr. Seuss would be complete without mentioning a fabulous book adapted from his work, similarly entitled Oh, Baby, the Places You’ll Go!  It’s specifically intended to be read to your baby in utero during your pregnancy. It is a great way for your developing baby to get used to your and your partner’s voice. Be sure to pick this one up before or right after that positive test.

 

Here’s another tip: If you can handle it emotionally, consider occasionally buying and putting away some other classic children’s books. It’s a positive step you can take in a journey that you have little control over.

 

By the time your Thing 1 and Thing 2 arrive, you could have a nice collection.

 

I’ll give you a positive send-off, with a final excerpt from Oh The Places You’ll Go:

 

So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea,
you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!

 

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What is your favorite Dr. Seuss book? Do you collect books or anything else while TTC?

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Long Island IVF-WINNER: Best in Vitro Fertility Practice 2015 AND 2016

It is with humble yet excited hearts that we announce that Long Island IVF was voted the Best In Vitro Fertility Practice in the Best Of Long Island 2015 contest…two years in a row!

The doctors, nurses, embryologists, and the rest of the Long Island IVF staff are so proud of this honor and so thankful to every one of you who took the time to vote. From the moms juggling LIIVF babies… to the dads coaching LIIVF teens…to the parents sending LIIVF adults off to college or down the aisles… to the LIIVF patients still on their journeys to parenthood who are confident in the care they’re receiving…we thank you all.

We love what we’ve gotten to do every day more than 28 years…build families. If you are having trouble conceiving, please call us. Many of our nurses and staff were also our patients, so we really do understand what you’re going through. And we’d like to help. 631-752-0606.

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Getting Real About Mother’s Day Blues

By Tracey Minella

May 9th, 2015 at 2:05 pm

photo: davidcastillodominici/ freedigitalphotos.net


I want to help and inspire you this Sunday. To mend the raw and broken heart that simply is infertility. To distract you from the emptiness that is Mother’s Day. And from the pain of losses suffered and prayers still unanswered.

But the words don’t come.

I lived it, too, for very many years. The memories are crystal clear. And still the words won’t come to make the worst day of the year any easier. So I’m going to ramble and share some thoughts from the heart.

This journey you’re on, that consumes your life and sucks you dry, will end someday. Yes, it will… even though it feels like it’s been this way forever and that it never will end.  But it has to, if you take the time to think about it. And for many it will end with a family. One built in the way you hoped, or in another way that through your evolution on your journey you will have come to accept. And it will feel like it was meant to be and the heavens will literally feel like they opened up and shone down on you just like in the movies.

But you won’t get these years back. I call the infertility years, “the hole”. It’s nearly a decade that I let some form of family-building consume me. When I look back, it’s an effort to remember the good times because I simply couldn’t allow myself to be happy or force myself to have fun. I let infertility rob me of more than it already had. It stole a decade of my life. Don’t let it do that to you. Trust that you’ll be a parent someday. Believe it. Because if it comes true, which it often does, you will have been able to find some happiness during the waiting years. And if it doesn’t come true, you are no worse off.

Celebrate your own mom on Mother’s Day because she won’t be here forever. Trust me, I know. I lost my mom before I got pregnant and could make her a grandmother. Same with my dad. Put the focus on her on Sunday. If it’s too hard, then see her today. Don’t get so lost in your own desire to be a mom that you forget to somehow celebrate the woman who is your mother.

Want a bit of a distraction? Do this project: Fill a mason jar with memories of your mom. Colorful tiny strips of paper with stories and traditions and qualities that you admire about her. And give it to her. What a priceless gift. Not feeling that? Then make one for yourself (or start a journal) with a list of all your plans and the qualities you hope to have as a mom. Baby names, nursery colors, favorite movies and books you’ll share. Activities you’ll encourage. Traditions you’ll start or continue. Add tidbits about this journey you’re on and how you’re feeling. These are therapeutic projects.

Follow your heart Sunday and do what you need to do to get through the day. Avoid places with children if that’s too hard to bear. Stay up late tonight and sleep extra late (cut that day in half!). Treat yourself in some way.

And listen to that heart as well. It’s telling you more than the grief and fear and frustration is letting you hear. There’s a voice whispering deep inside that makes you get out of bed each and every day, including tomorrow.

If you listen…really listen…it’s telling you that you are a mom-in-waiting. Hear it.

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What are you doing to get through the day? What/who are you dreading most?

 

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Long Island “Brew For the Family” Event- June 4, 2015

Would winning a FREE IVF Cycle door prize help you or a loved one build a family?

Join us on Thursday, June 4th, 2015 from 7:30-10PM at the Long Island Brew for the Family event hosted in partnership with the Tinina Q. Cade Foundation.

We have come together to spread the message that infertility can be overcome! Enjoy a night out and forget the stress of infertility as we sample craft beers at one of Long Island’s premier microbreweries, The Great South Bay Brewery. The evening will include a sampling of 6 beers, guided brewery tours with a master brewer, great food, music, and a silent auction.

Each admission ticket will include one entry into the drawing for a FREE IVF CYCLE* door prize. Be sure to invite your family and friends for even more chances to win, as the prize is transferrable.

To purchase tickets and learn more about this event please visit: www.librewforthefamily.eventbrite.com.

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Long Island IVF-WINNER: Best in Vitro Fertility Practice 2015

It is with humble yet excited hearts that we announce that Long Island IVF was voted the Best In Vitro Fertility Practice in the Best Of Long Island 2015 contest.

The doctors, nurses, embryologists, and the rest of the Long Island IVF staff are so proud of this honor and so thankful to every one of you who took the time to vote. From the moms juggling LIIVF babies… to the dads coaching LIIVF teens…to the parents sending LIIVF adults off to college or down the aisles… to the LIIVF patients still on their journeys to parenthood who are confident in the care they’re receiving…we thank you all.

We love what we’ve gotten to do every day more than 27 years…build families. If you are having trouble conceiving, please call us. Many of our nurses and staff were also our patients, so we really do understand what you’re going through. And we’d like to help.

 

 

Photo credit:  http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/Gestures_g185-Depressed_Woman_Sitting_On_Floor__p99322.html

 

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New Year’s Day Challenge: The Gratitude Jar Project

By Tracey A. Minella

January 1st, 2015 at 9:32 am


“This could be the year.”

No matter how you spend your evening on New Year’s Eve…brave-facing it through a big party or sleeping through the ball-drop…there is still a new year to face this morning. How will you meet it?

If you’ve been saying “this could be the year” for more New Year’s than you care to remember, it gets harder to believe it will happen. It gets harder to think of anything except having a baby. Your mind is laser-focused on the baby goal, while the rest of your life, well, is sort of just out there passing by in the blur of your peripheral vision. And you’re missing or forgetting some good things while you wait.

I’ve been there. I suffered for more than 7 empty New Years. I let it make me miserable. But you don’t have to make the same mistake.

Sure I can tell you to have hope and to believe. But those words tend to ring hollow on pivotal days like New Year’s Day.  So I’m going to give you one simple, but concrete job to do instead.

I’m challenging you to make a Gratitude Jar for 2015. I did this and promise it will be worth it. Get a mason jar from a craft, hardware, or grocery store. Decorate it (or not), depending on your mood and your talents. (I’m not crafty, so mine’s embarrassingly and totally plain as you can see).

Make a point to make a small note as good things happen throughout the year. Anything that makes you smile or laugh. Something nice someone did for or with you. Fun outings or events. Cherished notes or letters you receive. Basically, anything good. It’s so easy to forget. Toss those notes into the jar all year long.

Then, next New Year’s Eve or Day, (or any time you’re particularly hurting), you open the jar and read all the notes. It’s guaranteed to jog your memory and make you smile and focus on what you do have to be grateful for…at a time when it’s so hard to do so.

And who knows? Maybe you’ll be reading those little scraps to your newborn next year at this time…

Wishing you all a magical 2015 full of hope and dreams come true.

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What, if anything, do you do on New Year’s Day as far as your family-planning journey is concerned?

 

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Infertile Again on New Year’s Eve

By Tracey A. Minella

December 31st, 2014 at 2:17 pm

 

credit: stuart miles/ freedigitalphotos.net


I know exactly what you want to do with that noise maker.

No one would blame you either.

When you’re battling infertility, the last thing most people want to do is party. Unless you’re determined to forget reality for a few hours, who wants to spend money we don’t have dressing up for some rip-off celebration where you’re crowded into a ballroom full of strangers, with bad food, bargain booze, and loud tacky music while fertile friends complain about what the babysitter is costing them?

Truth is…I never liked New Year’s Eve. I hate high heels…and am not really fond of strangers either. My well-done steak never arrives until the ball is dropping. And the group rendition of Sweet Caroline just doesn’t have the same old lure. You may have your own reasons to hate big New Year’s Eve celebrations. Reasons in addition to the obvious one…

Facing the passing of time, coupled with infertility, is a mood killer.

Here’s the best advice I’ve got: Boycott it! Yes, treat New Year’s Eve like any other night. Be a rebel and go to bed at 10. Or maybe have a romantic dinner before turning in early. Unlike many of the recent holidays, this is one where you can actually avoid family. And you can avoid the holiday itself, too…as long as you turn over the calendar the next morning. This might be best if 2014 was a particularly rough year full of losses.

Want to see people? Keep it small…with only those who truly support you…so you don’t find yourself having to fake a fun time or dodging questions about finally having a baby in 2015. A few close friends, great food and drinks, some funny board games or a good movie. Low-key.

Of course, if you do go out big time and some drunk asks if that’s a noise maker in your pocket or you’re just happy to see them, you know what to do.

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How do you feel about New Year’s Eve? A time to celebrate wildly? A time for quiet, casual fun? A night to hide under the covers?

What do you plan to do?

 

 

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