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8 Things to #StartAsking and #KEEPAsking after #NIAW

By Tracey Minella

April 30th, 2016 at 4:43 pm


image courtesy of Resolve, the National Infertility Association

Honestly, my first reaction to this year’s NAIW #StartAsking theme wasn’t positive. It just didn’t sit right with me for some nagging reason I couldn’t put my finger on. So, it was hard to sit down and write a post using it. It made me have to really think about some serious and difficult things. Stuff I usually keep locked away. Some days, I just don’t have the strength to think too hard.

Start Asking.

Start Asking why? Start asking how? Start asking for something?

Start asking…what, exactly?

Should I start asking Why me? Truth be told, that was the first thing that came to mind. But there is no point in asking that question. So what is worth asking?

Then it dawned on me. We need to start asking for whatever it is we need in order to get through this journey (or to see that those who follow us can get through it). It’s that simple. And that difficult.

That means asking for help, for understanding, for respect, for answers, for kindness, for prayers, for coverage, and for action.

Start asking yourself what you need. And who can fill that need?

  1. Help: It’s hard to ask for financial help but if it’s the only barrier to treatment, you may have to ask. Loans, gifts, online fundraising sites are some ways to finance fertility treatment. Most IVF practices offer grants as well. Ask for help.
  2. Understanding: No one will truly get it unless they’ve battled infertility themselves. But they need to try to understand why it’s too hard for you to handle things like baby showers, egg hunts, and gender reveal parties for a couple’s 5th baby. Tell them you’re happy for them, but it hurts too much to participate right now. Ask them to understand.
  3. Respect: Everyone has advice on how you should be handling your infertility journey. Regardless of their personal (and usually uneducated) opinions, they need to respect the decisions you’re making…whether that involves IUI,  IVF, egg donation, donor sperm, surrogacy, egg freezing, pre-implantation genetic screening, adoption, or choosing to live child-free. Ask them to respect your right to make your own decisions.
  4. Answers: There is no such thing as a stupid question, at least when it comes to infertility treatment. So much is on the line that you owe it to yourself to understand the often complicated and ever-changing world of assisted reproductive technology. Understand what is happening to your body during any given treatment or procedure, including the medications you’re taking, how to take them, and any possible side-effects.  Knowledge is power. Ask questions if you don’t understand something.
  5. Kindness: Similar to respect, you deserve to be treated kindly. People can be mean…on purpose or innocently. “Why can’t you give me grandchildren?” “He just looks at me and I get pregnant”. “You can have one of mine.” “I’ll get her pregnant for you”. “Be thankful you have one.” Protect your heart. Ask people to stop saying hurtful things like that.
  6. Prayers: For the religious, infertility (especially a long journey filled with losses) can sometimes be a test of one’s faith. Don’t feel guilty asking why this is happening to you or questioning why your prayers are not being answered. If your faith is a source of comfort and strength to you and also to those you know, ask for their prayers or good thoughts on your behalf.
  7. Coverage: As you no doubt know, the biggest barrier to infertility treatment is often lack of health insurance coverage. Most policies offer little to no coverage for fertility treatments like IVF. The only hope for change lies in advocating for new legislation mandating better infertility coverage. Ask your elected representatives to create or support legislation mandating IVF coverage.
  8. Action: Start asking is a good start. It’s a catchy theme for NIAW. It’s good to raise awareness. One week per year. But that’s not enough. We need infertility action not just infertility awareness. The week is over. Tomorrow we risk being forgotten until next April (or at least until we resurrect Coming Out Infertile Day in November). And those baby shower invites will still flood the mailbox. Those nagging personal questions will not abate. And those uncovered infertility costs will still prevent many from accessing the treatments they need to become parents. Ask yourself and others to take action for real change.

I guess my issue with the theme this year, or maybe every year, is just a frustration over the slow pace of change. And the poor collective memory of the public. Tomorrow will not only start a new week, but a new month. A new “awareness” cause to push. By Friday, will anyone still be aware of infertility? Will they still be ASKING? We don’t need to just #StartAsking. We need to #KEEPAsking.

Let’s show our appreciation for –and join–all the tireless infertility advocates who support the infertile folks of today through activism, advocacy, blogging, and more. To the extent you can, join the fight. Consider participating in Advocacy Day . Don’t just start asking. Keep asking. Then keep acting until real change happens. Until we have babies for all.

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What did you #StartAsking? What will you #KeepAsking?

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Long Island IVF-WINNER: Best in Vitro Fertility Practice 2015 AND 2016

It is with humble yet excited hearts that we announce that Long Island IVF was voted the Best In Vitro Fertility Practice in the Best Of Long Island 2015 and 2016 contest…two years in a row!

The doctors, nurses, embryologists, and the rest of the Long Island IVF staff are so proud of this honor and so thankful to every one of you who took the time to vote. From the moms juggling LIIVF babies… to the dads coaching LIIVF teens…to the parents sending LIIVF adults off to college or down the aisles… to the LIIVF patients still on their journeys to parenthood who are confident in the care they’re receiving…we thank you all.

We love what we’ve gotten to do every day more than 28 years…build families. If you are having trouble conceiving, please call us. Many of our nurses and staff were also our patients, so we really do understand what you’re going through. And we’d like to help. 631-752-0606.


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Infertile? You’ll Need the Strength of Ten Grinches… Plus Two

By Tracey Minella

March 2nd, 2016 at 6:22 pm

photo credit: T.Minella


Today is Dr. Seuss’ birthday. Just hearing his name calls to mind our favorite childhood books with their catchy rhymes and quirky characters. Green Eggs and Ham. The Cat in the Hat. And countless others.


My personal favorite, the Grinch, was also a TV movie back in the day. I remember my parents checking the TV Guide for the Christmas TV specials. There were no TiVos, DVRs, DVDs, or even video tapes back then. If you missed a special, you had to wait until the next year to see it again. Imagine that? But it made us appreciate the magic of these childhood stories even more.


So what does Dr. Seuss have to do with infertility, you wonder?


Well, it just so happens that one of his books, Oh, the Places You’ll Go speaks directly to the infertile soul, as evidenced by  the following few excerpts:


“…And when you’re in a Slump,
you’re not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.”

“You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?”


“… And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance
you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on…”


However, no tribute to Dr. Seuss would be complete without mentioning a fabulous book adapted from his work, similarly entitled Oh, Baby, the Places You’ll Go!  It’s specifically intended to be read to your baby in utero during your pregnancy. It is a great way for your developing baby to get used to your and your partner’s voice. Be sure to pick this one up before or right after that positive test.


Here’s another tip: If you can handle it emotionally, consider occasionally buying and putting away some other classic children’s books. It’s a positive step you can take in a journey that you have little control over.


By the time your Thing 1 and Thing 2 arrive, you could have a nice collection.


I’ll give you a positive send-off, with a final excerpt from Oh The Places You’ll Go:


So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea,
you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!


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What is your favorite Dr. Seuss book? Do you collect books or anything else while TTC?

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Long Island IVF-WINNER: Best in Vitro Fertility Practice 2015 AND 2016

It is with humble yet excited hearts that we announce that Long Island IVF was voted the Best In Vitro Fertility Practice in the Best Of Long Island 2015 contest…two years in a row!

The doctors, nurses, embryologists, and the rest of the Long Island IVF staff are so proud of this honor and so thankful to every one of you who took the time to vote. From the moms juggling LIIVF babies… to the dads coaching LIIVF teens…to the parents sending LIIVF adults off to college or down the aisles… to the LIIVF patients still on their journeys to parenthood who are confident in the care they’re receiving…we thank you all.

We love what we’ve gotten to do every day more than 28 years…build families. If you are having trouble conceiving, please call us. Many of our nurses and staff were also our patients, so we really do understand what you’re going through. And we’d like to help. 631-752-0606.

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Getting Real About Mother’s Day Blues

By Tracey Minella

May 9th, 2015 at 2:05 pm

photo: davidcastillodominici/

I want to help and inspire you this Sunday. To mend the raw and broken heart that simply is infertility. To distract you from the emptiness that is Mother’s Day. And from the pain of losses suffered and prayers still unanswered.

But the words don’t come.

I lived it, too, for very many years. The memories are crystal clear. And still the words won’t come to make the worst day of the year any easier. So I’m going to ramble and share some thoughts from the heart.

This journey you’re on, that consumes your life and sucks you dry, will end someday. Yes, it will… even though it feels like it’s been this way forever and that it never will end.  But it has to, if you take the time to think about it. And for many it will end with a family. One built in the way you hoped, or in another way that through your evolution on your journey you will have come to accept. And it will feel like it was meant to be and the heavens will literally feel like they opened up and shone down on you just like in the movies.

But you won’t get these years back. I call the infertility years, “the hole”. It’s nearly a decade that I let some form of family-building consume me. When I look back, it’s an effort to remember the good times because I simply couldn’t allow myself to be happy or force myself to have fun. I let infertility rob me of more than it already had. It stole a decade of my life. Don’t let it do that to you. Trust that you’ll be a parent someday. Believe it. Because if it comes true, which it often does, you will have been able to find some happiness during the waiting years. And if it doesn’t come true, you are no worse off.

Celebrate your own mom on Mother’s Day because she won’t be here forever. Trust me, I know. I lost my mom before I got pregnant and could make her a grandmother. Same with my dad. Put the focus on her on Sunday. If it’s too hard, then see her today. Don’t get so lost in your own desire to be a mom that you forget to somehow celebrate the woman who is your mother.

Want a bit of a distraction? Do this project: Fill a mason jar with memories of your mom. Colorful tiny strips of paper with stories and traditions and qualities that you admire about her. And give it to her. What a priceless gift. Not feeling that? Then make one for yourself (or start a journal) with a list of all your plans and the qualities you hope to have as a mom. Baby names, nursery colors, favorite movies and books you’ll share. Activities you’ll encourage. Traditions you’ll start or continue. Add tidbits about this journey you’re on and how you’re feeling. These are therapeutic projects.

Follow your heart Sunday and do what you need to do to get through the day. Avoid places with children if that’s too hard to bear. Stay up late tonight and sleep extra late (cut that day in half!). Treat yourself in some way.

And listen to that heart as well. It’s telling you more than the grief and fear and frustration is letting you hear. There’s a voice whispering deep inside that makes you get out of bed each and every day, including tomorrow.

If you listen…really listen…it’s telling you that you are a mom-in-waiting. Hear it.

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What are you doing to get through the day? What/who are you dreading most?


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Long Island “Brew For the Family” Event- June 4, 2015

Would winning a FREE IVF Cycle door prize help you or a loved one build a family?

Join us on Thursday, June 4th, 2015 from 7:30-10PM at the Long Island Brew for the Family event hosted in partnership with the Tinina Q. Cade Foundation.

We have come together to spread the message that infertility can be overcome! Enjoy a night out and forget the stress of infertility as we sample craft beers at one of Long Island’s premier microbreweries, The Great South Bay Brewery. The evening will include a sampling of 6 beers, guided brewery tours with a master brewer, great food, music, and a silent auction.

Each admission ticket will include one entry into the drawing for a FREE IVF CYCLE* door prize. Be sure to invite your family and friends for even more chances to win, as the prize is transferrable.

To purchase tickets and learn more about this event please visit:


Long Island IVF-WINNER: Best in Vitro Fertility Practice 2015

It is with humble yet excited hearts that we announce that Long Island IVF was voted the Best In Vitro Fertility Practice in the Best Of Long Island 2015 contest.

The doctors, nurses, embryologists, and the rest of the Long Island IVF staff are so proud of this honor and so thankful to every one of you who took the time to vote. From the moms juggling LIIVF babies… to the dads coaching LIIVF teens…to the parents sending LIIVF adults off to college or down the aisles… to the LIIVF patients still on their journeys to parenthood who are confident in the care they’re receiving…we thank you all.

We love what we’ve gotten to do every day more than 27 years…build families. If you are having trouble conceiving, please call us. Many of our nurses and staff were also our patients, so we really do understand what you’re going through. And we’d like to help.



Photo credit:


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New Year’s Day Challenge: The Gratitude Jar Project

By Tracey A. Minella

January 1st, 2015 at 9:32 am

“This could be the year.”

No matter how you spend your evening on New Year’s Eve…brave-facing it through a big party or sleeping through the ball-drop…there is still a new year to face this morning. How will you meet it?

If you’ve been saying “this could be the year” for more New Year’s than you care to remember, it gets harder to believe it will happen. It gets harder to think of anything except having a baby. Your mind is laser-focused on the baby goal, while the rest of your life, well, is sort of just out there passing by in the blur of your peripheral vision. And you’re missing or forgetting some good things while you wait.

I’ve been there. I suffered for more than 7 empty New Years. I let it make me miserable. But you don’t have to make the same mistake.

Sure I can tell you to have hope and to believe. But those words tend to ring hollow on pivotal days like New Year’s Day.  So I’m going to give you one simple, but concrete job to do instead.

I’m challenging you to make a Gratitude Jar for 2015. I did this and promise it will be worth it. Get a mason jar from a craft, hardware, or grocery store. Decorate it (or not), depending on your mood and your talents. (I’m not crafty, so mine’s embarrassingly and totally plain as you can see).

Make a point to make a small note as good things happen throughout the year. Anything that makes you smile or laugh. Something nice someone did for or with you. Fun outings or events. Cherished notes or letters you receive. Basically, anything good. It’s so easy to forget. Toss those notes into the jar all year long.

Then, next New Year’s Eve or Day, (or any time you’re particularly hurting), you open the jar and read all the notes. It’s guaranteed to jog your memory and make you smile and focus on what you do have to be grateful for…at a time when it’s so hard to do so.

And who knows? Maybe you’ll be reading those little scraps to your newborn next year at this time…

Wishing you all a magical 2015 full of hope and dreams come true.

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What, if anything, do you do on New Year’s Day as far as your family-planning journey is concerned?


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Infertile Again on New Year’s Eve

By Tracey A. Minella

December 31st, 2014 at 2:17 pm


credit: stuart miles/

I know exactly what you want to do with that noise maker.

No one would blame you either.

When you’re battling infertility, the last thing most people want to do is party. Unless you’re determined to forget reality for a few hours, who wants to spend money we don’t have dressing up for some rip-off celebration where you’re crowded into a ballroom full of strangers, with bad food, bargain booze, and loud tacky music while fertile friends complain about what the babysitter is costing them?

Truth is…I never liked New Year’s Eve. I hate high heels…and am not really fond of strangers either. My well-done steak never arrives until the ball is dropping. And the group rendition of Sweet Caroline just doesn’t have the same old lure. You may have your own reasons to hate big New Year’s Eve celebrations. Reasons in addition to the obvious one…

Facing the passing of time, coupled with infertility, is a mood killer.

Here’s the best advice I’ve got: Boycott it! Yes, treat New Year’s Eve like any other night. Be a rebel and go to bed at 10. Or maybe have a romantic dinner before turning in early. Unlike many of the recent holidays, this is one where you can actually avoid family. And you can avoid the holiday itself, too…as long as you turn over the calendar the next morning. This might be best if 2014 was a particularly rough year full of losses.

Want to see people? Keep it small…with only those who truly support you…so you don’t find yourself having to fake a fun time or dodging questions about finally having a baby in 2015. A few close friends, great food and drinks, some funny board games or a good movie. Low-key.

Of course, if you do go out big time and some drunk asks if that’s a noise maker in your pocket or you’re just happy to see them, you know what to do.

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How do you feel about New Year’s Eve? A time to celebrate wildly? A time for quiet, casual fun? A night to hide under the covers?

What do you plan to do?



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Infertile “Coming Out” Day

By Tracey Minella

December 16th, 2014 at 3:56 pm


credit: stuart miles/

Many people suffering from infertility do so in silence. And this makes the struggle even harder. Did you just survive another holiday season dodging and lying to the baby-naggers and holding back tears as a mob of nieces and nephews opened presents? Are you wondering how you’ll face another New Year like this?

Despite the spike in infertility awareness and all the progress that’s made during April’s National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW), by the time the holiday season approaches in December infertility awareness is off the public’s radar. With all the child-centered fun and the family gatherings where ignorant or insensitive baby pressure comments are made, December is particularly hard on the infertile. Especially the “closet” infertile who doesn’t have family support.

NIAW is specifically timed for late April, just before Mother’s Day…the indisputably most painful day of the year for infertile women. On the heels of NIAW is Advocacy Day in early May, when hundreds of infertiles and their supporters flock to Washington, D.C. to speak to elected officials about infertile-friendly issues and pending legislation. NIAW and Advocacy Day raise infertility awareness, educate the fertile public and legislators, and help reduce the ignorant and insensitive comments infertile couples are faced with. At least temporarily.

There is even a National Infertility Survival Day, on the first Sunday in May (also just before Mother’s Day) to “celebrate all the hard work and effort that infertile couples put towards trying to have a child.  The day’s main emphasis is on self-care and celebration for what they do have. It’s also a day for friends and family to help lift the spirits of a loved one coping with infertility.” * This is a great idea for those who’ve already told their friends and families… or for couples to celebrate privately.

But wouldn’t it be wonderful if infertile people had a day…much like the GLBT community’s Coming-Out Day in October…when they could “come out” to their family and friends about their infertility? And wouldn’t it be great if that day was timed for right before Thanksgiving, the kick-off of the winter holiday season? I vote for November 11th. 11-11…easy to remember. Just like two lines on a test strip.

Participants in Infertility Coming-Out Day would release the burden of their silence, quiet the “baby-naggers”, and hopefully receive needed support and understanding. And even those who still remain silent might benefit from publicity surrounding such a day.

Who is with me?

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Do you think there should be such a day just before the winter holidays? If you are currently suffering in silence, would you find strength in numbers and find it easier to “come out” on such a day? If you’re struggling with wanting to tell, but not knowing how or when the time is right, would this help you?

If you have told your family, how and when did you do so…and how was the news received?




credit: stuart miles/ Image ID: 10054806

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4 Ways to De-Grinch An Infertile Heart This Holiday Season

By Tracey Minella

December 5th, 2014 at 11:19 pm




Hot on the heels of Black Friday and Cyber Monday was #GivingTuesday…a day to give back. We shared a list of some worthy infertility-related not-for-profits for anyone’s consideration.

But why should giving only be reserved for only one day? Especially since giving can be so therapeutic.

Holidays that involve having children are understandably particularly hard on us infertile folk. And there’s no way to really fill that void, but here are a few suggestions to help get through this month while you’re waiting for your own “dream present”:

Toys for Tots: Most communities have Toys for Tots campaigns and are in seeking unwrapped, new toys for underprivileged children. Some of these children do not have parents and the holidays are particularly hard for them, too. You can donate a toy at your local Toys R Us but if braving the toy store is too hard, you can donate money instead. For more information and for a list of other drop-off locations and volunteer opportunities see:

Adopt-a-Family: Many local hospitals and houses of worship have programs where people can adopt-a-family for the holidays. The families chosen have fallen on hard times due to unemployment, military deployment, serious illnesses, death, homelessness, or other hardships. If not for this program, the children may not have food, warm clothes, or any presents for the holidays. Why not call and inquire about how you can help? The Salvation Army in Blue Point, NY (631-363-2136) and Soldier’s Angels and Toys of Hope and The Retreat (for domestic violence victims) are just a few local adopt-a-family programs.

Soup Kitchen: Volunteering to feed the homeless and poor at a local soup kitchen is a great way to make a difference in someone’s life and make you feel good, too. Your local house of worship or Salvation Army can direct you to the nearest facility. Here is another list:

Sick Children: You love children. Why not share your love with those who are suffering life threatening illnesses? You could volunteer with organizations like Make-A-Wish and be part of granting magical wishes  Or you could contact the social services department of your local hospital and ask if you can help brighten the mood of any of the children battling cancer who will be spending the holidays in the hospital and whose families might not be able to afford gifts.

It’s so easy to become a Grinch in December. Why not try one (or more) of these suggestions? I’ll bet your heart grows 3 sizes that day…

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What do you do to help get through the holidays? If you try any of these tips, please let us know how it goes! Or better yet, take a selfie doing one of these things and share it with us on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram!



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There’s No Sugar-Coating Halloween’s Impact on the Infertile

By Tracey Minella

October 31st, 2014 at 11:59 am


Credit; Stuart Miles/free digital

I’ve got nothing.

Usually, I can muster up some tips to get you through the roughest days of the year. But this one is hard and I find the tips I’m brewing up are either too lame or too sinister to share. What makes Halloween so tough?

Halloween is the one universal children’s holiday…celebrated by all children. We all remember Halloween fondly, the costumes, the candy, the parties, the doorbells. The sugar-rush, shaving cream fights, and the eggs… for you rebels out there. Bolting from house to house for hours, until our feet dragged from the weight of a pillowcase that rivaled Santa’s sack. Mom and dad watching from the curb.

“Just one more house, PUH-LEEEZE?”

Halloween by its very nature is the most “in-your-face” of the holidays. Literally. It’s an onslaught. Even worse than Christmas or Chanukah… where you only have to deal with the kids in your immediate families. Today, kids are everywhere. All day and night. In the streets and at your door. You can’t hide. No place is safe.

Childhood memories of Halloween make us want to be kids again. And simultaneously makes us want to have our own so they can experience the same wonder. And so we can be the one at the curb today, the one who checks the bags for safety, the one posting 102 pictures to Facebook.

And not having it feels like a little pirate’s plastic dagger in the heart.

Another year that the dream of dressing up a little boy or girl in the perfect costume hasn’t come true. Another year to wait. How can I sugar-coat all this pain?

So I’m telling you to hide as best as you can. Stay off social media once the onslaught begins later. If you can go to an adults-only party or a romantic restaurant to escape children tonight, that’s great. But if it hurts to answer the door 372 times, lower the lights, put a bowl of treats out, and retire early… with a bag or two of your own favorite candy.

Or you could always open the door in the middle of an injection, screaming “TRICK!” and frighten the bejeebers out of the nineteenth Anna and Elsa that come knocking. (Oops, did I just say that out loud?)

The choice is yours. You can “let it go”… or you can be a witch if you want to. After all, it is Halloween.

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How do/did you handle Halloween when infertile?


LONG ISLAND IVF was nominated BEST IN VITRO FERTILITY PRACTICE in the Long Island Press’s “Best of Long Island 2015″ contest. If you’d like to vote to help us win, you can vote once per day from now through Dec 15 here:


photo credit: Stuart Miles/free digital


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Ode to My Captain

By Tracey Minella

September 26th, 2014 at 3:11 pm

He sure looks good in pinstripes. He also looks good in heather gray.

He’s your captain and has been right there for as long as you can remember. Just a touch away from the couch.

“Captain Clutch”. He always comes through when a miracle is needed.

He’s not like other men. He’s special. Almost magical.

He always goes above and beyond the call, defying odds. There is no physical task he can’t perform when the demand is made and the pressure is on. He is the master of his domain.

He’s the definition of a team player. You could not admire him more.

He builds up his team, deflects attention from himself, and downplays his important contributions.

He wants to win. It’s his only goal… his only focus… 24/7. Year after year. It has been that way since the journey began long ago.

He has sacrificed everything in pursuit of his dream. He tries to hold in his emotions.

He sees children in his future.

Who is he?

He is your husband.

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By the way…Thanks for the memories, Derek Jeter! You’re awesome, too. I’m tipping my hat (pictured above) to you!

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Remembering 9/11 Thirteen Years Later

By Tracey Minella

September 11th, 2014 at 1:40 pm

You will always remember where you were that fateful day. And so will I.

I was working as a medical assistant for Long Island IVF. I was also a patient there…and about 9 weeks pregnant with my son. Could life be any happier on a blindingly clear, crisp September morning?

It started out as a typical day, with the usual morning rush. Lots of busy women…many trying to get their blood and sono done so they cold hurry off to work. A few rushing to catch a train to the city. Men dropping off specimens on their way to the office. Some trying to catch a train to the city.

A train to the city.

By the time news of the second plane crash hit, most of the morning’s patients had already been seen and were gone. Disbelief was quickly followed by panic as we and the rest of the nation scrambled to figure out if our friends and family who worked in NYC were ok.  And what about our patients?

Doesn’t “So-and-So” work downtown? Isn’t “Mr. X” a trader on Wall Street? We spent the morning pouring over the employer info in the patients’ charts, making calls on jammed phone lines, and accounting for everyone’s whereabouts.  We went through the motions of the day on auto-pilot, glued to a 13” black and white TV in the nurse’s station, watching the horror unfold. What kind of world was I bringing this baby into?

But just as there were stories of heroism, good deeds, and miracles amid the atrocity of the attacks, there was something positive that day in the IVF office.

A patient learned that, despite the chaos unfolding around her, it was indeed going to be her insemination day. When it’s your day, it’s your day. Not even an act of war will intervene. And 9/11 was to be her only day. One insemination. That afternoon. Amid the sadness and silence and muffled sobs of the patient and everyone in the office.

And we came to learn a couple weeks later, that on the day the Twin Towers and the lives of so many innocent people were lost, we had participated in one ironically beautiful beginning. That patient got pregnant and had…twins.

Usually, it’s the patient who is thankful to the doctor and staff. But I will always be grateful to that patient for giving us one little happy something…well, actually two…to remember from that fateful day. And for being a sign to me that the world would go on, that we’d keep making babies, and that maybe it was going to be alright.

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Where were you?

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